Intimacy: Timing

Timing

By embarrassed - 01/06/2009 20:11 - United States

Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me, "When?" so I replied "Towards the end." I didn't realize she was actually asking what day this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 621

You deserved it 65 142

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By God hates me - 26/01/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 146

You deserved it 8 289

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 07:09 - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 773

You deserved it 53 631

By greenchan - 25/02/2011 05:12 - United States

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 279

You deserved it 20 950

By cocacola999 - 03/05/2014 10:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 747

You deserved it 7 788

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 20:23 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 390

You deserved it 33 869

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 394

You deserved it 1 581

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 540

You deserved it 10 545

By jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 507

You deserved it 3 602

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/01/2010 22:38 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 162

You deserved it 32 902

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 108

You deserved it 4 186

nuclear 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:47

Yeah even I didn't understand what she meant by that. FHL for not being clear enough. Nah, no one's life is ****** in this situation..

f_ed_panda 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:47

how is your life f'd? Seriously, just mentioning that you had sex and the condom broke is more of a FYL than is getting confused by the doctor's question. O.o

Comments

itsgen 16

Tuesday 2 June 2009 4:38

hahahhah FAIL!!!

NoXistance 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 4:39

Eh not that bad.. I remember when I was asked when my birthday was and said every year.. Not that bad TBH

crampy 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 4:44

This is not really an FML. come on. also, why did you go to a Doctor? You can go to a pharmacy and just buy it. (unless you're under 18, which maybe you are...)

BaldOuting 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 4:47

i'm sure that doctor has heard worse things. no worries.

palmtrees 1

Tuesday 2 June 2009 4:52

#83 (kelbel22) - Yes, it does make sense because pregnancy is NOT instantaneous. The sperm have to actually get to an egg in order for conception to occur, not just touch the inside of your body. Therefore, although the efficacy of the pill goes down the longer you wait to take it, it is possible that it can prevent conception as late as 72 hours after you've had unprotected sex.

wetheChristine 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 4:53

how is this an FML? none of the new ones are funny any more /: such a disappointment.

Kitty34_fml 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 5:04

This isn't an FML. Just a little mistake in conversation. Don't worry - I think you'll survive.

butterflys322 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 5:06

http://www.marie-gets-deflowered.com/?id=18d0f00e don't worry about it man

luckyducky123 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 5:06

Um, this definitely isn't an FML.

tash14 1

Tuesday 2 June 2009 5:14

To the people comparing the morning after pill to abortion, you are WRONG. Have you ever taken a basic anatomy class? The morning after pill works prior to fertilization. Meaning that even in the most conservative of viewpoints, which is generally the belief that it is a baby as soon as the egg and sperm unite, it is still not a baby. If there is fertilization, it does not work, and fertilization does not happen right away (which is why you have to get the morning after pill within a certain number of days, I believe it is 3). Meaning: not an abortion. Pretty much the only way you could be against that is if you're anti-birth control entirely like some Catholics and other groups.