Healthy Lifestyle, Poopoo peepee and Work: That shit adds up

That shit adds up

By melikeyturtles - 03/07/2012 15:08 - United States - Chicago

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 189

You deserved it 2 826

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Juicer

By alcomom - 01/07/2020 02:02

Today, I spent ages prepping, chopping, bagging and freezing lots of fruits and veggies for my mom. I also bought her a juicer and alkaline water to help combat some of her health issues. I walked into the kitchen to see her mixing her juice with vodka and rum instead of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 286

You deserved it 253

Man child, part 2

By Anonymous - 10/11/2020 02:02 - United States

Today, I was told I'm lazy by my boyfriend because I skipped work. He skips his all the time and when I get home still have to cook and clean up after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 288

By melikeyturtles - 10/10/2011 04:13 - United States

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 548

You deserved it 4 771

By wdones97 - 08/10/2018 14:00

Today, at my job, I was so tired and aggravated that I accidentally mumbled, "I need a drink." One of the patients I was taking care of heard me and said, "Me too." I work at an addiction rehab facility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 915

You deserved it 2 896

By Nick - 13/08/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 404

You deserved it 147 086

Dude, WTF?

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 20:57 - United States - Valley Stream

Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 528

You deserved it 1 371

Classic

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 18:00

Today, my physician, a known drunk himself, told me I was drinking too much and I should quit before my kidneys decide to divorce me and take the house and car with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 845

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 256

You deserved it 36 921

By crap - 02/07/2019 00:01

Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 630

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 30/08/2021 15:00 - United States - Garner

Today, after I finally recovering from being ill, my husband complained about the house being messy, that I needed to clean up after myself. I filled 2 large tote bags with his stuff laying around the house, and one small stack of medical bills for me. It took me hours to clean. But I'm the messy one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 103

TonyGoCapitals 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:51

Wow what an asshole no prune intended

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:56

Put Viagra in that prune juice and see who's laughing.

Comments

TonyGoCapitals 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:51

Wow what an asshole no prune intended

reallytho3 11

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:20

You deserve a gold star for that one lol

zachherbert 10

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:22

Let me bowel down to you sir.

mollysticks 10

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:51

Prune juice....ew

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:51

Prune juice It makes your bowels loose

ohmylanta22 5

Wednesday 4 July 2012 3:30

Failllllllll

Blacksxe 1

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:52

Earning that pay check one shitty wipe at a time.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Tuesday 3 July 2012 23:21

Solution: Butt plug.

youjustmademelol 4

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:52

Prune juice, an old mans beer

gurly98 13

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:54

Yowza

zachherbert 10

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:32

Baaziing

beautifulbeau 4

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:54

What a shitty situation.

TriflingAllDay 6

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:01

Im sure you were uninformed, so I will take the liberty. This comment is not allowed to be used as a joke anymore.

aleeshttylXD 9

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:02

shitgasm

perdix 29

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:21

#11, the only thing wrong with #8's comment is the omission of the *lowers sunglasses* Now, it's perfect! Thumbs up!

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:27

And a duckface too!! Noob.

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:45

Why are you all so unnecessarily harsh? Sounds like there's some personal issues.

BeforeItWasCool 12

Tuesday 3 July 2012 21:46

Welcome to the Internet. Leave your feelings at the door.

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:56

Put Viagra in that prune juice and see who's laughing.

starsfan_9 7

Tuesday 3 July 2012 20:08

You don't want to see the kind of mess that results from Viagra and a jerk like that

rcgirl2 11

Tuesday 3 July 2012 20:42

But if they found out that OP did it, he could lose his job.

KiwiExchange 16

Tuesday 3 July 2012 18:56

What an inconsiderate prick. Since he's not the one cleaning it up and working hard, it's easy for him to just make the mess and give shit.

MindFreakazoid 10

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:03

I see what you did there :D

br0ccoli 14

Tuesday 3 July 2012 19:02

Time to start wiping with wet cloths laced with alcohol.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Relatable Abuse Money Scams Social Media Kids School Education Parents Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 2 837

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 582

You deserved it 16 950

The Top

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 111

You deserved it 12 094

Today, after receiving a message about being hired at a retail store, I went to the orientation for new employees. The trainer seemed perplexed when I told him my name, but he gave me my paperwork and continued with training. At the end of the 8 hour day, he asked to talk to me. I wasn't actually hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 985

You deserved it 2 949

Today, it's the 14th year that I have been living-existing-being in the second friend zone in a row. It all started with harmless sympathy and ended with severe mental addiction, with withdrawal syndrome. My life became hell. Nothing helped me. In the end, only God - who actually created all this for me - helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 794

Today, my professor was doing roll-call. As usual, she didn't say my name because it's so close to the person before me. So to differentiate, she decided she would call the girl before me "the pretty one". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 220

You deserved it 2 583

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 79 337

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 349

You deserved it 3 526

That shit adds up

Same thing different taste

Juicer

Man child, part 2

Dude, WTF?

Classic

Relationship goals

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