Food and Love: That's not how that works - FML

That's not how that works

By Anonymous - 27/08/2015 16:18 - Denmark

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 696

You deserved it 1 944

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Same thing different taste

Stinky neighborhood

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 22:01

Today, I came home to a terrible smell in the apartment. Three hours, and a scoured kitchen later, I took the trash out. The smell was not my apartment, but from just across the alley; a neighbor had moved and emptied their fridge. Six more days of sunned milk until pickup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 61

By spekledworf - 28/08/2012 02:57 - United States - Wrentham

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 449

You deserved it 2 005

By Badlucked - 03/05/2019 06:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 385

By melon squash - 11/09/2016 10:15 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 1 321

Gross out

By lawdwhy - 12/11/2017 22:09

Today, my sense of smell is severely impaired by a bad cold. As a result, I inadvertently ate some highly questionable dairy. I figured this out after my roommate sniffed my yogurt and gagged, just before my bowels had their opportunity to object to my meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 060

You deserved it 491

By Where is it coming from?! - 10/06/2014 02:46 - United States - Brightwood

Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 976

You deserved it 6 936

Eight hour window

By fishyrael - 12/07/2022 00:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I got home an hour late from to find that my roommate had left the fridge open for the entire 8 hours. The kicker is that I was an hour late because I was at the grocery store, not buying the things that were getting ruined because I thought we had some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 80

The Stinking of Hill House

By laner - 26/07/2019 12:00

Today, I found out my ex-husband left the fridge full of rotting meat in the house that I'm selling. I turned off the power to the house in March. Now the whole house stinks, and I had to have the fridge professionally removed and the kitchen cleaned because buyers are coming to look at it tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 428

Climate change

By BloodyHorror - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, the blood from some defrosted steak dripped under my fridge where I couldn't see it. One insanely hot day later, and my whole house smells like it has its period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 973

You deserved it 470

By crying over wasted milk - 14/08/2019 17:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, in a fit of jealousy, my 10 year-old unplugged my freezer and lifted the lid before bed. It’s over 80°F in my garage. Now, my entire supply of breast milk is destroyed. Not only do I not have enough stored to feed my own baby, I was also donating to local hospitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 384

You deserved it 281

Next

Top comments

Droneman 17

Friday 28 August 2015 7:02

*slow clap*

beeferjay 34

Friday 28 August 2015 7:10

in soviet russia, milk drinks you

Comments

Droneman 17

Friday 28 August 2015 7:02

*slow clap*

nesteremily 31

Friday 28 August 2015 7:05

Someone needs to go back to 3rd grade science.

may14th 26

Friday 28 August 2015 7:09

Men.

abhi95 31

Friday 28 August 2015 7:09

Well shit.. That generally works..

beeferjay 34

Friday 28 August 2015 7:10

in soviet russia, milk drinks you

MRSwick2525 23

Friday 28 August 2015 12:22

Wow, just WOW to that comment.

beeferjay 34

Saturday 29 August 2015 16:42

it reminded me of that show where the aliens drank sour milk

shemademedoit 20

Friday 28 August 2015 7:10

I'm sorry........ WHAT!?

LastResort318 14

Friday 28 August 2015 7:11

I would have just thrown the milk out, bought new milk so you wouldn't know.

xxNIGHTxx_fml 17

Friday 28 August 2015 7:14

He's a keeper!

simmybaby_ 13

Friday 28 August 2015 7:25

Yep and you said I do.

yaaaymomstatus88 15

Friday 28 August 2015 7:34

the walk of shame of...oh gee whiz! lol

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 913

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 682

You deserved it 3 345

Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 2 457

Today, after working all day to make a big vegan meal for my family, hoping it would get them to become vegans as well, my brother thought it appropriate to pass around a block of cheese for everyone to grate over the pasta dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 1 685

Today, I came home from the hospital after six days. Despite having a cat sitter, they managed to shit on the bathroom floor and pee on my bed in protest for being gone too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 121

Today, my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant and has spent the last 5 hours in the bathroom crying at “what her father is going to think”. She’s 32 years old for god's sake, in an adult relationship, and still thinks her father is going to be angry at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 280

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 845

You deserved it 3 828