Food and Love: That's not how that works

That's not how that works

By Anonymous - 27/08/2015 16:18 - Denmark

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 699

You deserved it 1 944

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Stinky neighborhood

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 22:01

Today, I came home to a terrible smell in the apartment. Three hours, and a scoured kitchen later, I took the trash out. The smell was not my apartment, but from just across the alley; a neighbor had moved and emptied their fridge. Six more days of sunned milk until pickup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 61

By spekledworf - 28/08/2012 02:57 - United States - Wrentham

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 449

You deserved it 2 005

By Badlucked - 03/05/2019 06:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 385

By melon squash - 11/09/2016 10:15 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 1 321

Gross out

By lawdwhy - 12/11/2017 22:09

Today, my sense of smell is severely impaired by a bad cold. As a result, I inadvertently ate some highly questionable dairy. I figured this out after my roommate sniffed my yogurt and gagged, just before my bowels had their opportunity to object to my meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 060

You deserved it 492

By Where is it coming from?! - 10/06/2014 02:46 - United States - Brightwood

Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 977

You deserved it 6 937

Eight hour window

By fishyrael - 12/07/2022 00:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I got home an hour late from to find that my roommate had left the fridge open for the entire 8 hours. The kicker is that I was an hour late because I was at the grocery store, not buying the things that were getting ruined because I thought we had some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 80

The Stinking of Hill House

By laner - 26/07/2019 12:00

Today, I found out my ex-husband left the fridge full of rotting meat in the house that I'm selling. I turned off the power to the house in March. Now the whole house stinks, and I had to have the fridge professionally removed and the kitchen cleaned because buyers are coming to look at it tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 604

You deserved it 428

Climate change

By BloodyHorror - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, the blood from some defrosted steak dripped under my fridge where I couldn't see it. One insanely hot day later, and my whole house smells like it has its period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 470

By crying over wasted milk - 14/08/2019 17:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, in a fit of jealousy, my 10 year-old unplugged my freezer and lifted the lid before bed. It’s over 80°F in my garage. Now, my entire supply of breast milk is destroyed. Not only do I not have enough stored to feed my own baby, I was also donating to local hospitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 384

You deserved it 281

Droneman 17

Friday 28 August 2015 7:02

*slow clap*

beeferjay 34

Friday 28 August 2015 7:10

in soviet russia, milk drinks you

Comments

koganti 18

Friday 28 August 2015 7:39

what on earth is she trying to do?

daddysgirl243 21

Friday 28 August 2015 7:40

that wasn't even a worthy attempt

hard_candy 25

Friday 28 August 2015 7:51

barf. his stupidity gave me nausea

nekminnet 13

Friday 28 August 2015 7:59

Man logic.

exoticwaved 9

Friday 28 August 2015 9:12

Man logic built refrigerators. Go hang yourself.

dezman2000 21

Friday 28 August 2015 7:59

But the real question: Did the temperatures balance out?

Aly_donawho 27

Friday 28 August 2015 8:08

I'm guessing not;)

dabaerju 23

Friday 28 August 2015 8:40

Out of all the millions of people that read FML every single day, you are the only one that facepalmed. Trust me, I'm an engineer.

exoticwaved 9

Friday 28 August 2015 9:10

With intelligence like his it sounds like you're the breadwinner.

Bryce8 11

Friday 28 August 2015 9:17

Gotta give him props for trying!

alex_gen 38

Friday 28 August 2015 9:46

But, that's why you love him.

CuteBabyKitty_89 10

Sunday 30 August 2015 7:27

my boyfriend does the same kind of crap. and I still love him

foreverfmls 10

Friday 28 August 2015 12:11

This sounds like something my boyfriend would do haha

Keywords

Work Management Jealousy Love Mental health Relationship advice Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Today, as I was pulling out of the school parking lot I was blasting my music and feeling pretty awesome, I got a few honks and felt even cooler. Until some lady pulled up next to me and told me I had left my binder on the roof and all my papers were all over the road behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 190

You deserved it 44 165

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 186

The Top

Today, marks three weeks since I started my new dream job. It also marks the second time this week alone that I've clogged the toilet in the restroom. I'm almost 100% sure all my coworkers know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 644

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 180

You deserved it 5 958

Today, my admissions to my dream university was rescinded and no longer being considered for a $45,000 scholarship. Apparently, the content of my TikTok account does not align with the University’s values. I forgot I have a few videos of me twerking and lip syncing a few profanity-laced songs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 1 406

Today, I was terminated from my job. This comes after I sent HR an email about an inappropriate relationship between my manager and a counselor. Seems like I should have kept my mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 514

You deserved it 4 496

Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 166

Today, my older, pill-addicted brother, came over to visit with me. After he left, I realized all my Vicodin was gone. I got my wisdom teeth removed two hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 234