Cars, Accident and Transportation: Thanks, I hate it! - FML

Thanks, I hate it!

By pleasebackintomycaragain - 24/04/2009 02:12 - Canada

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 336

You deserved it 3 338

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

By haley - 16/11/2018 14:00

Today, while in a parking lot, I accidentally cut someone off out of pure nervousness as I'm a new driver. I got out of my car to apologize, and they responded by beating me and my car to a pulp with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 529

You deserved it 449

Coming through!

By Fender bender - 10/09/2022 05:30 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 217

By Tom - 25/11/2010 13:28

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 167

You deserved it 2 579

By jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 638

You deserved it 5 543

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 680

You deserved it 740

By Mark - 09/09/2011 04:51 - United States

Today, a car backed into mine. I thought that was pretty bad, until another car backed into me right after I'd finished taking the first guy's info. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 413

You deserved it 2 190

By prettyinpurple - 10/02/2009 04:54 - United States

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 941

You deserved it 56 271

Introductions

By Mayshod - 03/05/2011 12:04

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 216

You deserved it 2 804

Easy mistake

By NoFightResponse - 24/04/2009 03:53 - United States

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 246

You deserved it 7 134

By Noname - 02/03/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 580

You deserved it 7 613

Next

Top comments

lorrain_fml 0

Friday 24 April 2009 9:48

he spanked you on purpose. =o

kitz 0

Friday 24 April 2009 10:18

Don't lie, you enjoyed the spank =P

Comments

CaptainAwesome2 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 0:04

Slaped his face? No, grabbed his crotch!

Fancy_Nancy 7

Saturday 2 July 2011 5:10

maybe he was short? :}

jagdeep94 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 8:43

ahahhahahahahahahhahaha

UrNotSry 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 0:04

That sucks but if you didn't get any of his info not even the license plate number ydi

KickItHigh 32

Tuesday 26 March 2013 6:38

He love you long time. Just kidding, but I hope the car was fixed.

doglover100 28

Tuesday 11 March 2014 13:36

Did you get his plates?

Federgirl 19

Sunday 27 April 2014 16:53

I agree with #28 and #29.

cartedor 18

Monday 18 August 2014 8:09

wow, canada is just like how Barney said. but more importantly, was it a proper slap or rather a cupping action?

makynen86 9

Monday 9 March 2015 16:01

I hope you got his license plate number and reported it

loubabe69 19

Wednesday 2 December 2015 10:24

Hahaha

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to see the doctor for my daughter and myself. I fell two weeks ago, I thought I'd sprained my ankle but apparently I broke my leg instead. I’ve been limping around for two weeks. My daughter was sick, which is the only reason I got X-rayed. It may need screws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 186

Today, I was stuck on a packed interstate bus for hours next to 2 complete strangers, even to each other, have an debate about the "Drake and Kendrick beef." They even tried to drag me into it, so… if you happen to read this and recognize yourselves, I was the guy in a white UA hoodie pretending not to speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 75

The Top

Today, I tried out for cheerleading. The judges, two head cheerleaders, sized me up, burst out laughing and made fat jokes towards me. I fought back and called them, "twiggy fucking sluts." At that moment, the coach walked in and saw and reported me to the principal. The judges got off scott free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 310

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 355

You deserved it 3 798

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 343

You deserved it 13 617

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 203

You deserved it 2 512

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 653

You deserved it 8 334

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 497

You deserved it 2 838