Food, Weird and Pizza: Sounds like a swell guy

Sounds like a swell guy

By Crying - 01/03/2022 02:00

Today, I ate a slice of pizza that was left in the oven. Turns out it was my husband’s and he threw a tantrum over it. I profusely apologized and his response was, “Sorry is the cheating I’m gonna do if you keep this childish shit up!” He says stuff like that because he knows I can’t afford to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 239

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/11/2013 17:34 - United States - Rowland Heights

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 630

You deserved it 5 672

Hit the road Jack

By Denise - 03/03/2024 03:00 - United States - Palm Beach

Today, my soon-to-be-ex husband threw an epic tantrum, with crying, snotty nose, throwing himself on the floor, grabbing me by my feet, begging me not to leave him, and that he’s “so sorry” after I confronted him about the sexts and nudes he’s been sending to another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 11/10/2017 13:00

Today, my husband ate several slices of pizza and one whole ghost pepper. He then threw up all over the living room, hallway, and pile of dirty clothes in the bathroom before going directly to bed. I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 970

You deserved it 427

Give me a break

By anon - 18/02/2023 06:00

Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 182

Cool beans

By HousewifeBlues - 10/11/2023 21:00

Today, I confronted my husband about the sexts between him and another woman. He says it’s “just chatting” and “It’s not like I’m gonna do it in real life, I got you baby.” He called me unreasonable for getting upset. He’s sulking right now because I refused to fix him dinner tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 99

Prince Charming

By muskogee - 20/09/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 333

Busted

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 08:00

Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 1 239

By imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck - 27/11/2012 01:41 - United States - San Mateo

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 573

You deserved it 3 432

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 17:15 - Estonia

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 577

You deserved it 10 475

Roommate from hell #457

By Theguyinthedark - 30/06/2016 13:23 - Bangladesh

Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 151

You deserved it 1 149

AzraelAngelus 15

Tuesday 1 March 2022 2:12

I’d save up and divorce him

Crowned Sataness 12

Tuesday 1 March 2022 3:35

Yeah that abuse is not ok. My petty ass would tell him go ahead, just make sure you stay with her.

Comments

AzraelAngelus 15

Tuesday 1 March 2022 2:12

I’d save up and divorce him

Brightside86 30

Tuesday 1 March 2022 2:53

Sounds like he's just looking for an excuse.

Crowned Sataness 12

Tuesday 1 March 2022 3:35

Yeah that abuse is not ok. My petty ass would tell him go ahead, just make sure you stay with her.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 1 March 2022 3:49

Why would you take his pizza? You didn't put it there, so it wasn't yours.

carmo21449 8

Tuesday 1 March 2022 5:14

in most states its 50/50 in divorce leave his ass

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 1 March 2022 7:25

So, shouldn't she have eaten only half of the slice of pizza?

D J's MOM 17

Tuesday 1 March 2022 12:50

get your own account (if you don't have one) and start putting $20 a week into it. when you have enough for first month's rent and deposit, Get Out and don't look back. he's and abusive narcissist and won't change

rotflqtms_ 21

Wednesday 2 March 2022 8:31

He did overreact to the pizza, and I don't like how he was talking about cheating. I don't stay with cheaters and don't condone cheating in any way shape or form. I don't like how he's abusing his power just because you have no money to move out. I don't support how he reacted to you eating his pizza...but... If you didn't put it in there, why would you eat it? Don't you think someone put it in there to eat it? If you thought they made some for both of you and already ate their portion, the best thing to do would have been to ask him. hey babe, is this pizza in the oven for me? I don't eat anything I don't put in the house unless I ask first if I can. That's common courtesy. If I were hungry and put a pizza in the oven and someone else ate it when it was ready, I'd be upset too. I mean, he really overreacted and probably isn't the best guy for you with how he talks about cheating and stuff, but he does have a right to be upset. I'd save up my money to leave him. Get a job if you don't already have one. You may not be able to afford to live like you do now, but at least you'll be free. Don't eat someone's food though... If you didn't put it in the oven, don't just go and eat it. Both of you are at fault, you for eating his food and him for overreacting so severely for it.