Kids: Snitches get stiches

Snitches get stiches

By cxcrktkt - 12/04/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, my ten year-old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore, I'm an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 811

You deserved it 12 938

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By wtf - 24/10/2011 22:46 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 076

You deserved it 4 955

By Anonymous - 27/04/2018 20:30

Today, my child's kindergarten teacher told me that my child said, "My mom drinks wine and lays down." I don't drink alcohol, although at times I drink juice in a wine glass. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 807

You deserved it 642

By ApparentDrugAddict - 08/08/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 890

You deserved it 7 329

By drucle - 18/03/2016 12:49 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 933

You deserved it 16 209

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 252

You deserved it 4 818

Irony failure

By alcoholic - 31/10/2009 14:30 - Estonia

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 823

You deserved it 51 683

By blah - 21/07/2011 14:10 - United States

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 693

You deserved it 3 058

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 127

You deserved it 5 079

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 380

By stargirl - 19/07/2011 00:36 - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 293

You deserved it 13 138

videoCWK 1

Sunday 12 April 2009 17:57

That's what happens when you're religious enough to send your kid to a special school because of it.

dz_zb 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 17:58

That's what you get for not discussing these issues with your child earlier. He's 10 and he just discovered alcohol? And on top of that you haven't taught him enough for him to understand the lack of severity in an adult drinking beer? YDI for allowing your child to stay ignorant, thinking it will preserve his innocence.

Comments

X6488 0

Monday 13 April 2009 0:31

Why the heck did you enroll him in a conservative private school? Surely you realize how amazingly indoctrinating those places are...

DefyingGravity 0

Monday 13 April 2009 0:32

I feel so sorry for you. D: You've explained to your kid that it's not bad when it's done in moderation, right? I'd slap the intervention people around a bit ;]

quesoesbueno59 0

Monday 13 April 2009 0:37

There's nothing wrong with drinking. Only drinking to excess. Tell your kid the difference.

Chickenpuddin 0

Monday 13 April 2009 1:15

YDI for sending him to a conservative private school

apk892 7

Monday 13 April 2009 2:03

# 47, ok seriously, when my dad comes home from work he likes to have a glass of whiskey. does that mean he's an alcoholic? no. u know y? cuz he doesnt drink to much, he has 1 glass. seriously if having one glass of alcohol a night after a hard day at work makes u an alcoholic, then pretty much everyone is an alcoholic huh? u dont have a problem if u like beer and u drink one with dinner. if u wake up, drink a beer, go to work, have a few beers there, come home, drink a beer, eat dinner, drink a beer, then drink a few beers between the time u finish dinner and the time u go to bed, ur an alcoholic. waking up, eating a nice breakfast, going to work, coming home and having a beer with dinner then watch TV and go to bed afterwords does not make u an alcoholic u ignorant little ****

flamingice 0

Monday 13 April 2009 2:19

Imagine what would happen if the OP's son saw a family in Europe somewhere where they let the kids drink alcohol too...he'd probably pass out praying.

tiltwrestler 0

Monday 13 April 2009 2:31

#58: Just givin the definition of it, chief. you can unwad your panties now

tweetspie 0

Monday 13 April 2009 3:09

YDI for sending your kid to a conservative private school.

gislince 0

Monday 13 April 2009 3:30

urgh! drinking beer with dinner.. that's not very tasty!Get a juice ..it's ealthier

Islander_fml 5

Monday 13 April 2009 4:00

Having suffered under conservative private schools, I'd find it hilarious if they thought I was an alcoholic. **** THEIR lives. You're the best off. :D