Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: My ears! - FML

My ears!

By PoorMe - 22/02/2013 13:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 631

You deserved it 4 722

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 015

You deserved it 3 944

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Spicy

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 105

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Spicy

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 670

You deserved it 4 390

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 232

You deserved it 3 318

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 580

You deserved it 47 168

By fmjob - 21/07/2009 04:39 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 261

You deserved it 6 248

By DisturbedMan - 15/01/2014 22:29 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Spicy

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 129

You deserved it 5 944

By Bear - 01/02/2009 17:38 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 406

You deserved it 5 978

Confusing family

By confused - 25/01/2015 03:26 - United States - Minneapolis

Spicy

Today, my mom came into my room to yell at me because she thought she heard me having sex, saying I'm too young for it. I'm 23 and I wasn't having sex. The noises were from my dad watching porn in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 327

You deserved it 2 968

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 775

You deserved it 32 319

Next

Top comments

Supergirl1988 16

Friday 22 February 2013 19:22

It's better than hitting mute and hearing a very loud sex life from your parents!

Lauren324 18

Friday 22 February 2013 19:22

F your moms life not yours!

Comments

Tiger9099 11

Monday 4 March 2013 17:34

Why did you mute you're tv?!?

whos_ur_daddy1 19

Thursday 14 March 2013 5:29

Should probs turn that volume up more...

PaintedTempest 14

Thursday 15 August 2013 5:57

This is OP here. I didn't have the account when I wrote the FML. I muted the TV so I could call a friend and talk to them and, sadly, I had to hear about my parents' sex life. Its actually my mom and step-dad but I call him my dad anyway. Some of y'alls comments are real funny. They are still happy together...besides the lack of sex. Thanks to all of you for commenting though.

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:26

Looks like you won't be muting the TV anytime unless you are home alone...now you know that...

Keywords

Parents Public freakouts Education Love Mother in law Miscellaneous Argument AITA Insects Fear Health Cats Skincare Jealousy Coworkers Work Gross Drugs Animals Dogs Fire Awkward Money Scams Transportation Cars Bikes Scary Neighbours Intimacy

The Top

Today, I got popcorn when getting groceries. I was excited to see popcorn butter spray on sale and decided to try it. Excited, I made some popcorn while I went to use the can. Butter sprayed like an aerosol can all over my desk and floor. Now, my apartment smells like a movie theater and there's butter EVERYWHERE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 330

Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 72

The Top

Today, my girlfriend tried to distract me from an argument I was winning by taking off her clothes for sex. Then she got mad when I told her to grow up and get dressed. By the way, the fight was over how she threw my mom's ashes in the trash, I don’t care if we never have sex again, I’m gonna win this argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 144

You deserved it 237

Today, I made a casserole to use up the green beans I've had sitting unused in the fridge for over a week. I went out and bought all the ingredients, prepared them, and left them in the slow cooker for 4 hours before dinner. At no point in this did I remember to add the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 323

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 007

You deserved it 6 678

Today, I dropped my phone between my legs and tried to catch it with my thighs. Instead, the phone fell through just as I crushed my own balls with my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 100

You deserved it 5 102

Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 529

You deserved it 2 296

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 191

You deserved it 41 999