Monday morning blues

By desperate905 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Spicy
Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 451
You deserved it 28 889

Top comments

Comments

A_dreamer_22 3

I get that ur horny, but setting ur alarm is a lil much. but hey sooner or later will come a person into ur life that will fullfill those needs at anytime:)

laurbear12 3

13, maybe a teacher could come into your life to fulfill your grammar needs.

I really don't understand why typing a few extra letters is so difficult, but correct me if I'm wrong.

Because it's the internet, people that type without grammar, punctuation and correct spelling don't care about that stuff when typing on the internet and texting, and I don't blame them. More people, called grammar nazis care about that stuff on this website than any other website I've been on, and it's pathetic as hell. Why do people get all bent out of shape because of inproper grammar and punctuation on the internet and let it get to them? It's america, a free country, let them type how they want instead of being grammar communists...

PYLrulz 17

I can get a misspelling here or there (I thumb down grammar Nazis who have nothing better to do than point out one spelling error, when you still get what was being said (so what they said your instead of you're?!? It's not a English essay that we have to do!). Dreamers post though, that does push the boundaries of what is tolerable.

Proper grammar and correct usage of spelling and punctuation are at least as important on the Internet as they are offline. On the Internet, the way you represent yourself through your writing is the only way that people can recognize or know you. Would you rather be seen as an intelligent person who cares about his/her image, or as a lazy person who is, as far as anyone can tell, completely incapable of proper English? (or any other language, for that matter)

73-I use my IPod; there is an FML app, it's free, so u can get off your lazy asses!

thiscrazything 1

There are many people that use their phones for FML and they do not have a proper keyboard. Since they are using the phone, they will used " texting grammar" which may not be proper, but lighten up, people, this is FML not a formal thesis. Geeze

flockz 19

one of the rules to the website is that no texting grammar is allowed. also, proper grammar makes you look a lot smarter, and not like an idiot to society.

thiscrazything 1

Says the person holding a pile of crap in their hands. Sorry, I didn't realize improper grammar was breaking the rules.

twinny_sc 13

My two cents to the thread and I'm done. I do agree that proper grammar and correct spelling and punctuation is important, but why should anyone on the Internet care how someone sees them on a website? I do not care if some nameless faceless person insults me on a random website, because that person doesn't know anything about me. If I do type "u" instead of "you" and someone calls me a dumbass I'm not going to be butt hurt about it. People should stop being so sensitive.

I agree. And besides many people are complaining that it's difficult to understand dreamers comment. But he didn't actually "misspell" anything. I think at this point in our 21st century we all know that ur=your and lil=little. And those are the only two words he did this with. So get over it.

198, it's mocking the Twilight book cover. Which deserves to be mocked, might I add.

flockz 19

actually SPAIDZ, ur=/= your here. if you weren't so ******* ignorant, you might realize the proper spelling would be "you're", as in you're ******* stupid. if there are more people in society with filled with as much bullshit as you, then i not only weep for the future, but rather not experience it entirely. if in modern society, lil=little and ur=your is your logic, then in ten years or so everyone's going to be communicating with hand motions and throat gargles. idiot.

To #166. I use my phone to access FML and it's not too difficult to type correctly. I'm not being grammar nazi but it's not too hard to turn on T9 or just use autocorrect. In fact, you have to actually try to type in text language.

Shadow_Phantom 26

One one hand, FYL for not having someone. On the other, I don't see why masturbation is looked on as such a negative thing...

You are not single. Either of your hands will always be your partner.

Redoxx_fml 22

Either of your hands can be my partner

U say the perfect things, I second all ur comments like this1

What a player, eh? He has two! I wonder if they know about each other..

bettyc4 26

That's not amazing what's amazing is if you switch hands you gain stroke.

Redoxx_fml 22

It's when you fall into a rose bush. Oh sorry, that's thorny.

It's when you're extremely hungry. You just want to eat icecream cones.

You are like fourteen Please don't ask stupid questions Google it first please

lol did you really suggest a kid to Google horny

Haha. It looks like tanay is about to learn a lot more than just the meaning of the word horny. Oh well, while you're at it look up what masturbation is too. You're about to have a very "educational" day.

LOL: I'm 13, and I kno wat horny means-they tell u in 6th grade

flockz 19

it's when your dick is shaped like a cone, and you're desperate because it pokes holes in all your pants. only love's true kiss can break the spell.

Nothing wrong with that. And I bet if you weren't single, you'd set the alarm earlier just so you would have enough time to attack your bf/gf. ;)

Why would he attack them? Then he's going to be single and horny again.

SookyTurner 4

Oh well, whatever floats your boat

How could you sleep? You must have willpower. If I am horny I take care of business, not set an alarm. That way I can always have another opportunity to jerk off again in the morning.