Monday morning blues

By desperate905 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Spicy
Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 451
You deserved it 28 889
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Top comments

Pentium_4 27

before bed is much nicer. helps you sleep...

306 5

Comments

jsstone1989 1

30 minutes!?!?!? What are you lighting candles and giving yourself foreplay?

3 6
kimmi41509 10

Hey man, whatever makes your day better! In times like this, maybe everyone should so they don't leave their house in the morning with a bug up their ass. Maybe this will inspire some! It should, anyway. People are so miserable these days.

7 1
AgaveLoco 5

#68 is wise "People are so miserable these days" Totally agree!!!

4 0
kimmi41509 10

It's so true though! I work in customer service and 95% of the people I meet are so miserable that it actually puts me in a bad mood sometimes.

4 0
alfred07 18

I'm sure there are websites you can use, both for dating and casual sex.

2 0
perdix 29

Hey, you've got to keep the equipment in top shape so when you do find someone, it performs at its best. Consider it genital maintenance, and if you have fun while doing it, well, that's just a bonus ;)

10 1
natebart88 0

remindes me of american beauty. "this will be the highlight of my day"

5 0
br0ccoli 14

That's exactly what I thought! That scene totally popped in my head! No pun intended

0 0
lemonsquid 6

Cum on and get up! xD

4 0