Monday morning blues

By desperate905 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Spicy
Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 451
You deserved it 28 889
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Top comments

Pentium_4 27

before bed is much nicer. helps you sleep...

306 5

Comments

ryankon518 3

One batin a day keeps the bad thoughts away...

0 1
emilysarah 5

My ex boyfriend and I would factor in time to have sex in the mornings and set our alarms accordingly.

2 1
dbpowell 2

At least your hand won't give you any diseases!

1 0
Calyx_fml 21

Masturbation is not a lesser substitute for sex. It is a valid pleasurable act that has nothing to do with sex or loneliness. Many people who have great lovers and regular sex still **********, and love it. Your only problem is feeling bad about it, like it's shameful or something. It's not. Stop thinking you only wank because you are lonely. You wank because it's fun.

10 0
contedefees 11

Whatever. Masturbation is awesome. Even when you are having sex with someone else regularly, masturbation is still awesome.

4 0
hateevryone 14

really? is it that crucial?

2 2
CaptainPickles72 18

Why would he get a blow-up doll. There are a lot of cheaper things out there to use. Like; your 2 hands, a pillow, a melon heated up with a hole, the ghost of the sex crazed fiend that killed herself in your apartment a few years ago and hides away till your asleep and rapes you... oh no... I've said to much! O.o what's that noise!? ... I'm scared...

2 0
zoecw 14

Maybe if you weren't so horny u wouldn't be single

0 4