Monday morning blues

By desperate905 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Spicy
Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 451
You deserved it 28 889

Top comments

Comments

36, go **** yourself. people can beat off/finger them selfs when they want and how they want. youre probably a fat lonely ****** sitting in a basement

I'm in the same boat. No hubby, no kids, no prospects, and I'll be 35 Sunday. Beat that!!

Sorry but... Not surprising. Yea I know. I'm an asshole. Hey! I said sorry!

I think they're beating something else....stink buzz for you though

Don't give up. Sometimes lightening strikes and you find someone when you least expect it. At least your not in a bad marriage.

84 - you're an asshole. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

Jonriise18, coming from a guy that doesn't even have a picture of himself. Anyways you will find that person one day, just don't give up. :)

Aaaah don't stress too much on it. Sometimes you have to shift through the dirt before you find the gold.

To those of you who have posted encouraging comments, I appreciate it. As for that other guy, don't take your 'beauty' for granted. It's a gift that can be taken away in an instant. I accept the fact that I may never marry or have a family of my own. I just want to encourage everyone to not take their kids, their spouses, or their good looks for granted. Take care!!

Well said, goodgood. Try not to get too discouraged though. I know people who have found love and are much older than you. Don't compromise your standards out of loneliness or discouragement either. There are worse things than being single, one of which is being with someone who doesn't treat you as well as you deserve (I think so anyway...all those people out there who refuse to break up with their deficient significant others may beg to differ though).

Wow, rude! Don't listen to them goodgood. They're probably miserable and want to make someone feel bad. Stay positive! Someone will come your way.

Goodgood I don't care what anyone says, you ARE beautiful. And I'm sure sooner or later someone will recognize you for being beautiful on the inside as well as the outside.

CourtCourtb 0

84 - wow that was mean! Everyone is beautiful in their own way! And goodgood... You never know what tomorrow holds! You could meet the man of your dreams at any time! :)

I guess waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.

30 minutes!?!?!? What are you lighting candles and giving yourself foreplay?

connorsan17 12

Idk. Takes me half an hour after my first alarm to get up. Maybe OP isn't a morning person. If all single teenage boys were morning people that's exactly what they would do. Think it through. It's only masturbation.

30 minutes huh? You must really be getting into it! Ask someone out before you become a masturbating hermit!

I was thinking it may be to have enough time to scan the internet and find/watch free ****.

Ahhhh that'd make sense, find appropriate, worthy material.

perdix 29

I've heard YouPorn.com has a lot of suitable masturbation material. 99% of guys **********. . . I'm a one-percenter ;)

Me too, good ole Perdix, I have a very hot and horny imaginary girlfriend

Not imaginary-my IPod is all ****** up, even more than I am yearly, which is a lot

LOL^ that is beyond win when a FML team member chimes in. Thank you, Alan, thank you.

flockz 19

i think the only girl he's "touched" are the Miley Cyrus posters in his bedroom.

thiscrazything 1

Nothing beats having some alone time.

thiscrazything 1

Well, glad to see that somebody's on the ball.