Health, Parenting, Sex and Intimacy: Misery loves company

Misery loves company

By Anonymous - 03/10/2011 21:41 - United Kingdom

Today, my 20 year-old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 872

You deserved it 5 788

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Same thing different taste

ED FML

By Anonymous - 22/04/2011 02:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 323

You deserved it 3 511

Adulting

By FailedMommy - 24/02/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out my 20 year-old daughter has a 46 year-old boyfriend. She met him at her job. When I objected, she told me that I can’t tell her “heart” what to do because she’s “grown” and “in love.” I had to teach her how to wash and she still leaves dirty pads on the floor, but sure, she’s “in love.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 182

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 498

You deserved it 6 892

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 817

You deserved it 6 585

Reminder

By dad - 29/06/2009 16:38 - United States

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back into the house, screaming, "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 724

You deserved it 8 352

Don't worry dad

By Anonymous - 02/02/2020 18:00

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 243

You deserved it 499

Parental disapproval

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 16:00

Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 67

By costcocondoms - 23/07/2009 05:23 - Mexico

Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 960

You deserved it 9 623

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 02:03

Today, my daughter admitted she struggles to keep a boyfriend because as soon as she shares with them her kink of fucking guys with strap-ons and occasionally inserting other items into them, they flee. As a father, this was way more info about my daughter's sex life than I can handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 622

You deserved it 327

Stop

By dad - 03/03/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 362

You deserved it 83 142

missyj0 12

Tuesday 4 October 2011 1:39

Am I the only one that finds it odd to talk to your dad about your boyfriends penis? I mean it's great you have such a tight knit family, but I don't think I'd want my dad knowing about my boyfriend's package.

FatMan23 10

Tuesday 4 October 2011 1:36

Awkward.

Comments

HomeAl0ne 20

Tuesday 4 October 2011 2:14

Try her to try nicking out to get some take away. That arouses some guys to the point where they have to start masturbating.

CADMAN82 1

Tuesday 4 October 2011 2:47

Umm say that again, in English this time.

tiarrae 10

Tuesday 4 October 2011 3:40

I believe he's referring to another FML.

emmanizzer 6

Tuesday 4 October 2011 2:14

Thos really isn't that bad. If you guys are close enough to talk about her boyfriend's ED, then I think you're close enough to even remotely mention yours.

castrosabeast 7

Tuesday 4 October 2011 2:31

Nothing to be ashamed of man. You're just getting old.

perdix 29

Tuesday 4 October 2011 2:34

Your wife is right. At this point, what's more important for your daughter to think: A) You have credibility on the topic of limp-dickedness, or B) Your **** can get reliably rock hard at the drop of a hat?

rawrkittyrawr 6

Tuesday 4 October 2011 3:18

Why not both?

perdix 29

Tuesday 4 October 2011 3:57

They can't be both because B) has the word "reliably" in it. If Dad has the experience Mom brags about, his rock hard **** was having problems with reliability.