Family, Pranks and Dad jokes: Don't be a dingdong

Don't be a dingdong

By Steve - 03/04/2021 21:59 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter's boyfriend came to the house to pick her up. As a responsible father, I had an evil plan to torture the boy who dares date my girl, but my wife preempted my plan so during his short visit, she stood behind me the whole time with her taser down my buttcrack in case I acted up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 2 692

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 21:59

Today, I was supposed to be meeting my daughter's boyfriend, but my wife has locked me in the basement until he leaves, so there’s no chance of me tormenting the boy. Quite wise on her part, I had all kinds of evil ideas, but now I’m locked in here, I’m bored as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 2 514

I'll make my own way

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, my daughter is too crafty for her own good: she found out I was planning on driving her to her first date to meet a boy, so she let the air out of my car tyres, removed my bike chain, and even stole my bus pass. I taught her well. Well played daughter, well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 1 410

By costcocondoms - 23/07/2009 05:23 - Mexico

Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 960

You deserved it 9 623

By Ohfman117 - 11/08/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 952

You deserved it 71 764

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 555

You deserved it 2 264

Collateral damage

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 05:01

Today, my sweet, nonviolent boyfriend found out my daughter's asshole boyfriend had hit her, so he rugby-tackled him so hard, it ripped the door right out of the frame and into the garden. I never knew he had it in him, so I'm proud, but now we've got to fix the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 326

You deserved it 374

Scumbag

By old mom - 29/09/2023 06:00

Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 325

Karma

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 12:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my daughter came crying to me that her boyfriend cheated on her. I'd like to comfort her, if it weren't for the fact that she manipulated him into cheating on his previous girlfriend with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 294

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 433

You deserved it 2 607

Size isn't everything!

By Franklin - 18/12/2017 19:00

Today, I attempted to threaten my daughter's boyfriend to keep him from breaking her heart. I'm a 230-pound former soldier. He's a karate black belt. My family watched me get beat up by a 120-pound teenager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 338

You deserved it 7 911

cuz803 44

Sunday 4 April 2021 0:10

A well deserved shocking experience. I'm fine with parents being protective but to conspire a nefarious ploy against ANYONE without reasoning is wrong. You deserved it. How about bonding and getting to know your daughter's BF first rather than assumptions and plots? He may be a good dude.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Sunday 4 April 2021 2:10

It was either that, or let you humiliate the poor kid just because he's dating your daughter, along with alienating her for who knows how long, and embarrassing your wife because you're a man-child who thinks intimidating kids for no reason is funny. You should probably redeem yourself to your wife, or you could end up with an over-cooked asshole.

Comments

mike3775 35

Saturday 3 April 2021 23:56

You can always tell which fathers were only out for one thing as teenagers when it comes to daughters.

cuz803 44

Sunday 4 April 2021 0:10

1known 30

Sunday 4 April 2021 1:04

You deserved that. It’s fine to protect our children, but it doesn’t mean they belong to us. Trust your daughter instead of acting like a lame character from a movie or a tv show.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Sunday 4 April 2021 2:10

bleachedraven 14

Sunday 4 April 2021 4:46

over-cooked asshole 🤣

ClickClackClive 3

Wednesday 7 April 2021 7:10

Spot on!!

peithecelt 28

Sunday 4 April 2021 2:42

Please tell your wife that from mom to mom, her life sucks, and she's a hero for stopping her idiot husband from acting like a neanderthal.

bleachedraven 14

Sunday 4 April 2021 8:40

moms unite for a greater good 🤣

JasonThorn 19

Sunday 4 April 2021 10:12

...Fess up, OP. You peaked in high school, didn't you?

Lydmyers 9

Sunday 4 April 2021 15:08

tazer down the buttcrack? I would have done the same thing. ease up, idiot.

bobsanction 18

Sunday 4 April 2021 17:20

Your wife is hilarious.

xxlk4xx 6

Monday 5 April 2021 3:19

I agree with your wife, I have 4 daughters and would never dream of doing that so their partners, that is someone else's baby. as long as they are respectful to your daughter as well as to you then there shouldn't be an issue. just teach your daughter to not put up with any shit from anyone (men or women)

DuckyDee 6

Monday 5 April 2021 15:17

Geez, dude. How about getting to know him and trusting your daughter? Or didn’t you raise her right? Do you know his parents? Maybe trust that they raised HIM right. No matter what way you look at this, YTA and your wife is a star.