Creepy

By Fail - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me, talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "So… does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 421
You deserved it 3 110
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Top comments

Thoureau 0

I wonder what was said afterwards... "Uhhhh, Ismaeliqua..." "What, he's a ******* greasy-haired, pizza-faced loser who's made me fake it for him every time we've done it, but if I'm straightforward about it, he might go into a whinefest and kill himself." *Other friend points to you* "How is he behind me? I can smell his sweaty ass from space. Hell, I can smell him over...the...phone." *Turns to see you at the last part* "Hey sweetie! I didn't notice you there!" But yeah man, FYL.

132 7
malakian_fml 0

"least u don't have to go through that akward break up" - It sounded like a pretty damn awkward break up to me...

97 3

Comments

Hurt16 0

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7 86
Reyo 2

That's when you say "uh...I have one."

33 2
crazytoaster 2

Two options: 1) Break up with her first, claim she was just something you used for sex. 2) Crush her in the bear hug, pretend it was an accident.

34 7
UnluckyDom 0

Say, "here's one, let him hear!" then punch her face. :D

6 7
senalina 0

i would have been like you just figured that out in less then 10 seconds bizotch and walked off like nothing happend

9 2
wiredream 0

lol agree she's mean, I hope you find a better girlfriend OP :/

0 5
farhil 14

How is this mean? She was just asking how she should break up with him. If she was mean she would have just walked up to him and broke it off like she didn't care about his feelings. But logic tells us she did care

11 2
malakian_fml 0

"least u don't have to go through that akward break up" - It sounded like a pretty damn awkward break up to me...

97 3
Thoureau 0

I wonder what was said afterwards... "Uhhhh, Ismaeliqua..." "What, he's a ******* greasy-haired, pizza-faced loser who's made me fake it for him every time we've done it, but if I'm straightforward about it, he might go into a whinefest and kill himself." *Other friend points to you* "How is he behind me? I can smell his sweaty ass from space. Hell, I can smell him over...the...phone." *Turns to see you at the last part* "Hey sweetie! I didn't notice you there!" But yeah man, FYL.

132 7
mylifestoryy 6

Just be like Ill show you how to do it then be like " I dont want to go out with you anymore because you're an ass."

31 2
LoveDemon 19

Looks like you were the one surprised !!! :D

8 3
Attrox 0

It seems she doesn't like pedobear hugs. Consider a change of tactics.

2 1
xoxcinderellaxox 0

tell her she doesnt have to coz you're breaking up with her instead!

12 2