Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Countdown - FML

Countdown

By unsatisfying - 28/10/2010 05:05 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 514

You deserved it 15 564

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/10/2010 19:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife started checking her email on her Blackberry while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 037

You deserved it 10 577

Knackered

By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 066

You deserved it 2 885

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 297

You deserved it 13 174

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 16:00

Spicy

Today, my wife stopped halfway through a blowjob to check a notification on her phone for a game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 170

You deserved it 381

By SuperJesus - 01/02/2009 10:27 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 440

You deserved it 8 069

Escape route

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Spicy

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Hh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 638

You deserved it 17 864

It's not a competition, but still…

By Shooter71 - 16/10/2010 04:09 - France

Spicy

Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 263

You deserved it 3 815

Planning

By stargate25 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Denver

Spicy

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 220

You deserved it 11 890

Stop begging

By cuckolddreams - 21/01/2015 19:06 - United States - Broken Bow

Spicy

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 274

You deserved it 11 744

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 19:22 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 083

You deserved it 6 380

Next

Top comments

nibawan 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 16:08

maybe she was checking to see if you passed the one minute mark yet

drakem 7

Thursday 28 October 2010 16:07

Be faster :D

Comments

justAskxx 0

Friday 29 October 2010 1:00

Kinky :P

anonoms 0

Friday 29 October 2010 2:41

small peniss

maphineRAWRS 10

Friday 29 October 2010 2:47

I'd never marry someone that made sex boring haha,

gigilvrs6 0

Friday 29 October 2010 3:21

So? Maybe it was her first time and she wanted to see how long she can last?

cloudyconverse 0

Friday 29 October 2010 5:21

fhl for you being so boring :P don't worry keep practicing

jkpajama 0

Friday 29 October 2010 5:47

u obviously weren't trying hard enough

WillyThaKid 0

Friday 29 October 2010 6:22

next time, punch her in the face while your making love to her, but you have to say something kinky so she'll roll with it... One or two things will happen, she'll start checking the time more, or never do it again.. Its a win win!! Your welcome

wriptidez 0

Friday 29 October 2010 8:43

lol

nswan 5

Friday 29 October 2010 8:48

just knock her out next time

dillib 0

Friday 29 October 2010 8:53

at least your getting some.

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Keywords

Management Work Love Jealousy Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Money Birthday Family Gifts Mother in law Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, after a very long, nasty custody battle with his ex, my boyfriend’s kids were finally scheduled to spend the night at our house. Today is also the day my daughter came home with a note from school about the massive lice outbreak on campus. Yup she has it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 103

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 98

The Top

Today, I decided to make what I thought was a pretzel recipe. I ended up eating cooked, egg-coated play dough. Literally, homemade Play-Doh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 787

You deserved it 10 903

Today, I'm being ghosted by someone who said they wanted to meet up, but never texted me. She could've just said she wasn't interested, but instead we made plans. She kept writing back, saying how excited she was to meet me, and then I never heard from her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 77

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 732

You deserved it 20 850

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 359

You deserved it 3 327

Today, I was told that couldn’t become assistant manager of my job anymore. I already told my family I was going to be one, and they'd all said how proud of me they were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 379

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Come on Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 408

You deserved it 6 915