Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Choking hazard - FML

Choking hazard

By notsexy - 09/05/2009 15:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 085

You deserved it 83 377

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Same thing different taste

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 504

You deserved it 59 415

Work on your skills

By banana - 26/02/2009 03:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 924

You deserved it 74 547

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 085

You deserved it 40 021

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 204

You deserved it 19 442

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 444

You deserved it 797

Jammed

By me - 05/01/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 442

You deserved it 3 747

By Rob - 06/06/2012 16:02 - United States - Neoga

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 745

You deserved it 42 610

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 658

You deserved it 12 195

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 266

You deserved it 7 762

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 385

You deserved it 6 023

Next

Top comments

jimmyweee 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 2:14

Ha, you swallowed the wrong thing.

BlackWolfVII 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 2:13

Should've practiced on a banana first. Girls. *Facepalm*

Comments

eminemlvr 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 4:40

thats a dumb thing to do, your teeth could tear the condom then putting it on would be pointless!

Antonio718 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 4:47

Did you also choke on something else later on? (Dammit 7 you took mine lol)

Bloodrush 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 4:51

#15 the best comment so far....i lolled

lilcuti3pi389 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 4:51

mm thats unfortunate. why would u use ur teeth, yea that would be dumb.. how about if she would have placed it correctly on the tip and then use her lips to slide it down? lol idk ive never tried that but im just saying, it might work hahaha in case you ever wanna try againnn lmao i dont think it was a stupid idea tho, you were trying to be freakyyy, which is gooood ;)

rainbowvomitwhat 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 4:53

i love you 7

banan 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 4:58

# 15 ahahahahahahahah that is the best lmao!

bella_brasil 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 5:16

WTF?

sictransit_rosie 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 5:17

AHAHAH #22 sooo true

genius_man16 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 5:19

I don't really get it, why would you freak out? You knew what you were doing.... right?

bahahaha 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 5:22

WAIT can we all yell at #58? i mean; LOOK AT THEIR DAMN COMMENT PEOPLE and 15 fails. oh yeah and 58

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Keywords

Work Management Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Gifts Mother in law Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love AITA Argument Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

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I agree, your life sucks 35 633

You deserved it 4 431

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I agree, your life sucks 32 936

You deserved it 3 864

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You deserved it 2 953

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