Can't be bothered, TBH

By bummer.. - 02/03/2013 06:05 - United States

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 953
You deserved it 5 801
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Top comments

hellobobismyname 24

I may be wrong about this so anyone is free to correct me, but I think that's reasonable grounds for divorce. If you wanted kids and he knew that, and he fooled you about wanting them himself, then that's an enormous problem. I hope you don't feel like there's nothing you can do now. No man can take motherhood away from you. I say try to work things out and find out why he suddenly changed his mind, but if he lied just to get you to marry him then please leave. That's just so disrespectful..

354 7
SoMuchWut 8

I think dying would ruin his life too. So he's screwed either way.

259 4

Comments

dr_snow_bear 29

Sounds about right. If you think you want kids get one of those dolls they use in high school development class, and set the thing to go off twice as often.

6 13
miniboule_fml 2

You need to get an annulment NOW on grounds of FRAUD. Trust me he wont change his mind and you will suffer. Men like that are horrible they tend to have an eternal middle age crisis. Find yourself another man that loves you and wants babies like you do. Do it now before it is too late.

21 5
Shadow_Phantom 26

Not really too horrible... I'm female, and I can completely understand where the guy is coming from. It does suck that the OP's newlywed husband lied to her, though. That's pretty ****** up.

8 5
Lizzy500 16

The issue is not that he doesn't want kids, it's that he LIED about it. It's perfectly fine to not want kids, not everyone does. It's not OK to LIE about something so fundamental just to get someone to marry you. THAT is the part that makes him a horrible SOB.

21 0
Enslaved 36

Even if the OP ends the marriage, it's still FYL. I'm sure she married him with plans of a long prosperous future only to feel that he reneged on his end of the bargain. ***I have a close girl friend of mine that went thought the same deal. She now has a few dogs that she treats like children-- to fill the void. :P

10 1
FalconWhitaker 20

Children are a deal-breaker issue in a marriage. If you want them and he doesn't, then no matter how much you love each other, I don't think you should be together because one of you will end up miserable and that will make that person resentful. Also, he shouldn't have lied to you. That's despicable :/

16 1
Albanic 7

I see reasonable cause for divorce here and I think the courts would too hun

5 0
mattrd_fml 31

Sorry OP, but get off birth control without telling him. I know guys who never wanted kids. Then they accidently had one. Now he loves his kid and wouldnt have it any other way!

1 28
minmo 1

This is terrible advice. Are you serious? There's no guarantee this would work the way you say. No child deserves to be born to a person who doesn't want kids.

21 0
kawaiisakura 12

For people who trick the other into having a kid by stopping BC or poking holes in condoms, I find it just fine if the guy leaves her. He would be under false thinking that they are having protected sex when they aren't. Ill probably be buried for this, but if a guy is tricked into this type of thing, he shouldn't be forced to stay or take care of if. They should be able to sue them or something for that type of thing

13 0
HannahLouise96 13

You're suggesting that it's okay to take a risk, that it's okay to potentially put a child in a situation where they might be abused and neglected? Yes, he may change his mind when he accidentally has a kid of his own, or he may not. I don't think any kid deserves to be put in that situation.

11 0
minmo 1

I've been there. He just waited 2 years to tell me. Get out. The resentment just grows over time. Before you know it it's too late to fix the marriage or have a kid.

14 1
minmo 1

And don't wait around for him to change his mind.

8 0
skyeyez9 24

I think that is grounds for an annulment. He lied to you on a subject you hold dear to your heart. If having children is important to you, and you stay with him, you will resent him more and more. He is a selfish jerk for lying to you.

8 0
LadyEmi 15

Well uh...kids do ruin your life. Why do you want to have them?

4 13
Ameel_fml 19

Seriously? Why would a person want to bring a human being into the world to love and cherish for the rest of their lives? Why would someone want a child that brings them joy and love just by being there and existing? Are people really this dumb? I mean, I can understand why some people don't ever want to have children...but saying that ALL children ruin lives is just...idiotic. Especially when most people have had (or at least know of) loving parents, and can see first hand the happiness it brings them.

4 4
thew_fml 14

everyone who thinks they want kids, and everyone who thinks they don't want kids have no idea what they are talking about until they have kids. there is no way to know before it happens.

2 12
Lizzy500 16

My siblings are 12 and 18 years younger than me, and I did so much babysitting as a teen, I didn't need a "real" job until I was 17. I knew EXACTLY what I was getting into when I had my kids.

6 0
Aregonde 15

I wouldn't do anything too drastic yet. This guy JUST GOT MARRIED. It's possible he genuinely wanted or thought he wanted kids before, but panicked when things "got real." He might just need some time to adjust to being married before he can consider making another dramatic change to his life. If he decides he still doesn't want kids once the oxygen has returned to his brain--and please let him make that decision himself, without any pressure from you--then, for both of your sakes, go your separate ways. If you want kids, you deserve to have kids with someone whose heart is set on being a dad. If he wants to be child-free, he deserves to be child-free. There's no room for persuasion or compromise on this issue, IMO. Whatever the case, he may or may not have been completely honest with himself before you got married, but that doesn't necessarily mean he meant to deceive you. I really don't know enough to call this an asshole, annulment-worthy move in itself.

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Aregonde 15

Oops, sorry. I didn't mean to reply to your post, #72.

0 0