Intimacy: Bad ******** - FML

Bad ********

By testacular - 25/03/2014 21:20 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Spicy

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 660

You deserved it 55 813

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 115

Fireball

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 22:00

Today, I went into work to finish one last task, but decided to also have a fire in the pit. I grabbed the wrong can of fuel and ended up taking a fireball to the face, singed the hair on my head, arms, and I have to shave my beard off… Well, what’s left of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 989

By Smokey9 - 25/07/2011 15:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 608

You deserved it 62 541

Sucker

By BadIdea - 01/03/2012 21:23 - France

Spicy

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 283

You deserved it 59 641

It's lit

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 00:01

Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 105

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 19:58 - United States - Everett

Spicy

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 232

You deserved it 8 728

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 604

You deserved it 15 127

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 851

You deserved it 8 409

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 187

You deserved it 12 657

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 27 489

Next

Top comments

razi1 20

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

The things we do in our boredom

enddmd 27

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

Boredom combined with anything never ends well.

Comments

kirkklkl 4

Thursday 27 March 2014 22:40

Nobody likes roasted nuts!

squarecircles 13

Thursday 27 March 2014 23:14

Just get some ice

TheMystery13 13

Friday 28 March 2014 15:25

Hopefully you're now sterile as well. Darwinism, you know.

soldiat_fml 17

Monday 31 March 2014 5:43

I'm guessing you deserved this one.

Mimical 3

Tuesday 1 April 2014 17:26

You are the definition of a retard I swear. Do people use common sense or does everyone that posts an FML clearly not use it

JonDG 12

Monday 14 April 2014 8:38

why would you blow dry your pubes in the first place? to give them that natural looking fluff??

GreenDayBJAIsHot 7

Wednesday 4 June 2014 18:37

smooth move lol

LyricaSilvan 29

Sunday 23 August 2015 1:16

This is part of why men die earlier in life than women. You do really dumb things when you're bored. All the same, sorry you got hurt, but maybe next time don't try to fix boredom with heated objects?

CiaphasCain2 20

Saturday 1 July 2017 19:16

Im sure I'll regret asking but, what the heck were you doing with a hairdryer on your balls?!

Keywords

Health Relatable OCD Mental health Work Awkward Friends Vacation Boredom Music Transportation Annoying Love Jewelry AITA Embarrassing Cars Family Babysitter Kids Parents Miscellaneous Death Money Thief Food Birthday Farts Gross Underwear

The Top

Today, I told my stepdad 3 times not to unload my new stove by himself, being worried about both the appliance and his bad back. When I came back to the car two minutes later, he'd taken the stove out and was wondering where that huge scratch on the side might have come from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 90

Today, my sister is furious with me and said i will never see my nieces again. Last weekend, while I babysat for her, I taught them the meaning of veganism and animal rights, even showing them a few videos about the meat and dairy industry, and how the animals are kept and treated. Now she won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 3 542

The Top

Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar. After joking around for a few minutes she said, "Hey, I love your jacket, where'd you get that?" I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket. This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 531

You deserved it 61 598

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 360

You deserved it 5 980

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 2 690

Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 767

You deserved it 2 613

Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 498

Today, I found out my parents only got pregnant with me because they were desperate for a bone marrow match for my brother, who ended up dying before I was born, and who I had no idea existed. What’s even more messed up is that they gave me his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 70