Intimacy: Bad ******** - FML

Bad ********

By testacular - 25/03/2014 21:20 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Spicy

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 660

You deserved it 55 811

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 115

Fireball

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 22:00

Today, I went into work to finish one last task, but decided to also have a fire in the pit. I grabbed the wrong can of fuel and ended up taking a fireball to the face, singed the hair on my head, arms, and I have to shave my beard off… Well, what’s left of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 989

By Smokey9 - 25/07/2011 15:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 608

You deserved it 62 541

Sucker

By BadIdea - 01/03/2012 21:23 - France

Spicy

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 283

You deserved it 59 640

It's lit

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 00:01

Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 105

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 19:58 - United States - Everett

Spicy

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 231

You deserved it 8 728

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 604

You deserved it 15 127

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 850

You deserved it 8 409

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 187

You deserved it 12 657

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 27 489

Next

Top comments

razi1 20

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

The things we do in our boredom

enddmd 27

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

Boredom combined with anything never ends well.

Comments

razi1 20

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

The things we do in our boredom

GodPart2 20

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:03

Gives 'smoked nuts' a whole new meaning!

niallo 23

Wednesday 26 March 2014 2:26

I have to admit, I've Never been that bored.

halcyondaze 11

Wednesday 26 March 2014 3:57

I love how your pro pic is the xx

thatssomia 12

Wednesday 26 March 2014 4:14

please get a scrabble board...

koreamaniac101 7

Saturday 29 March 2014 13:38

#7 Had 69 Likes, how fitting.

Lunasis 14

Sunday 11 May 2014 20:35

sir that's not the intended use!

enddmd 27

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

Boredom combined with anything never ends well.

Traitoro 9

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:31

Boredom has led to MANY revelations and amazing ideas throughout history. Look up Vsauce on YouTube and look for his boredom video.

Welshite 39

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:58

At least your pubes are nice and straightened now. Girls love that.

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:25

Girls like looking at the penile equivalent of a shaggy dog?

Welshite 39

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:29

Well I've never gotten any complaints. They call the Shaggy Dog rather adorable, and will sometimes tie a pretty pink bow on.

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:37

I guess I could understand it, if they have this whole grooming/conformation show fetish.

kozzard 17

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:45

Gives "Best in Show" a new, disturbing, meaning

asparagus12 21

Wednesday 26 March 2014 3:00

Brazilian blowout!

hamzor 5

Wednesday 26 March 2014 20:53

Now plait your pubes out of boredom.

Simbaby 23

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:01

Boredom and curiosity doesn't go well together.

ChristianH39 30

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:36

Boredom, curiousity, and heat sources REALLY don't go well together

Marlee141717 9

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:02

Boredom and anything dont go very well together. Hope it it heals quickly!

BirdieCurls 25

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:20

#6... see #2 for verification.

feven 32

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:03

Ouch....

Pentium_4 27

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:06

you could have just rubbed one out like a normal bored guy

Pat77235 8

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:08

Blow drying your pubic hair: not cool

J3R3MYY 14

Wednesday 26 March 2014 7:22

I'm sorry but that was a bad pun

botanistjessica 24

Wednesday 26 March 2014 17:00

I thought it was pretty funny

jigglypuff34 16

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:08

Next time read a book when you're bored.

Marley_000 14

Wednesday 26 March 2014 23:45

Might I recommend; "How to be lovely: the Audrey Hepburn way of life"

illegalbeagle69 23

Friday 28 March 2014 2:27

50 shades of burnt scrotum..

CorpsmanUp88 21

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:09

I'm sure everyone will deny it but we all have all done something like this in extreme boredom.

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:42

I don't know about you but I haven't burned my balls in boredom yet. Usually just jack off or play games. Maybe I should spice things up, try both at the same time.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Boredom

The Top

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 119

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 604

You deserved it 5 177

The Top

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 974

You deserved it 3 410

Today, I bumped my head on a tool box. When it happened, I yelled, "Fuck." I got fired from my job for cussing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 254

Today, I had my 28-week ultrasound. Baby is doing well, but has clearly inherited his/her father's growth genetics and currently measures at the 96th percentile. I'm a tiny woman (pre-pregnancy 105lbs). I'm screwed for the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 109

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 878

You deserved it 16 889

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 1 397

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me. That would have been fine, if we hadn't just moved in with his mother a week ago to save money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 660

You deserved it 2 084