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Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16321) - you deserved it (2317)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

me's life also sucks
Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained…

Major3 also deserved it
Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

Top comments

Just make sure you never have sex around him.

#10 - On 03/12/2012 at 12:35am by EmilieAutumn

See in context

+57 | 7

Could come in handy… if your house were to catch on fire and the alarm somehow didn't sense it

#5 - On 03/12/2012 at 12:32am by haZzbin

See in context

+41

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