Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

#1712833
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32352) - you deserved it (138952)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel

Top comments

ughh...why would you eat something that landed on the table anyway?? wouldn't you wipe it off with a napkin...

#2 - On 05/07/2009 at 10:07am by youmakemyday

See in context

You are a disgusting person. Even if it was mayo, that is disgusting. Who a) eats random condiments they find b) especially when splattered on a disgusting public table?

#4 - On 05/07/2009 at 10:09am by ozymandias

See in context

Comments

Loading...

Top of the page

Comments are deactivated.



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: