I don't wanna

By Anonymous - 11/10/2020 15:02 - Estonia

Today my mother, who was once shocked to realise that my older sister was having unmarried sex, told me to go and 'get some' because it's good for my health. I'm asexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 369

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Never ever

By notgettinsome - 10/11/2013 06:15 - Australia

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 266

You deserved it 5 229

By sexandanxiety - 30/04/2015 00:46 - Canada - Stittsville

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 647

You deserved it 4 222

ICYMI

By senelbeat - 03/07/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 265

You deserved it 8 563

Thanks Mom

By Enko - 09/11/2008 07:43 - France

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 573

You deserved it 5 247

By buxton1 - 18/02/2013 08:24 - United States - Ramona

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 628

You deserved it 3 379

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 105

Freuding intensifies

By toomanypills - 26/03/2022 17:00 - United States - Easton

Today, I'm in 12th grade and came home from school to find out my mother had someone over to have sex while I was at school. She's not had sex my whole life, so the uncomfortable feeling it gave me is different than anything I've felt before. She's been single by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 1 475

Excuses

By sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 295 474

You deserved it 54 118

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 811

You deserved it 37 513

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 21:45 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 176

You deserved it 3 645

TCRII 29

Sunday 11 October 2020 14:07

You do you.

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 11 October 2020 14:32

Tell her to talk to the hand

Comments

TCRII 29

Sunday 11 October 2020 14:07

You do you.

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 11 October 2020 14:32

Tell her to talk to the hand

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 11 October 2020 17:13

Which one? The one she uses to "get some" or the other one?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 11 October 2020 17:10

She is right. Vegetables are good for you, too, but lots of people don't get enough to improve their health. Same thing.

Anna Whiteway 7

Thursday 29 April 2021 12:01

Sex = Vegetables Yep 🤦🏻‍♀️

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Abuse Birthday Relatable Money Scams Social Media School Kids Parents Education Health Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I'm an ectomorph who struggles to gain, let alone maintain weight. Our politicians made food so much more expensive in the last three years, I can no longer afford a consistent amount of protein and to fill my fridge with vegetables. I can barely afford to make balanced meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 133

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 007

You deserved it 21 832

The Top

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 638

You deserved it 8 882

Today, stopping at a rest plaza, the cashier at Wendy’s asked my best friend if I was her mom. We are only two years apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 561

You deserved it 220

Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 488

You deserved it 26 572

Today, I sent an email to several coworkers about an "incident" I had just created, asking them to look into it. It wasn't until one of them responded that I discovered that instead of "incident" I had typed "incest." I wish I could say this was a typo or autocorrect, but it was more a Freudian slip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 850

Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 533

You deserved it 15 484

Today, my phone charger caught fire. I was thankful to be there to witness it. I was not thankful for having been holding it while this happened, as my shirt caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 769

You deserved it 1 119