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Chuckster2005's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States
By Anonymous - / Sunday 12 July 2015 14:21 / United States - Boca Raton
By Anonymous - / Saturday 11 July 2015 00:52 / United States - Las Vegas

Today, our 8-month-old son had a big cold and his nose was blocked. I couldn't find the baby nose pump in it's usual place, so I went to ask my husband. He had it in his hand, and was using to decorate the cake that was going to be served to tonight's guests, my parents. FML

By Anonyme / Friday 26 June 2015 00:40 / France - G?anges

Today, in a train, I did the old "I've got your nose" trick for a kid. He got off at the next stop, then waved something at me from the platform, then yelled, "I've got your keys!" FML

By jaivolétonnez / Wednesday 17 June 2015 05:54 / France - La Courneuve