About Mauskau
I don't need anything exciting on here, you already came here for the poro.
Mauskau - Followers
Mauskau - Followed
Mauskau's FML badges
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • FAAAAAACEBOOK

    Your FML account is now linked to your Facebook account.
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • Inception

    You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • Back from the party

    An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Censored

    Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    11%
  • Tommy Wiseau

    You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.
    2%
  • I'm a rock star

    You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.
    1%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    66%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    0%
  • Picture this FML

    You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
    0%
  • I liked to the power of 20

    You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
    0%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
    0%
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
    0%
  • Gandhi

    You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.
    1%
The list of badges to find
Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why the rent is so cheap in my new house. Apparently the previous tenants violated their lease by keeping illegal exotic pets. They responded to fines and eviction by letting all the animals loose in the basement, like the (admittedly gorgeous) albino cobra I found curled on my laundry. FML

By - / Wednesday 1 March 2017 12:30 /

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

By ouch / Monday 5 October 2015 19:20 / United States - Stockton

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

By FishFlingingMonkey - / Saturday 22 August 2015 03:55 / Canada - Saint John

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 29 January 2015 21:17 / United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

By tine / Sunday 16 November 2014 09:44 / Australia - Sydney