About Fuck_usernames
I'm honestly not sure what to put here
Fuck_usernames - Followers
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Fuck_usernames's FML badges
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    32%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    50%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    20%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    10%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
The list of badges to find
Fuck_usernames's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

By Ow - / Friday 18 April 2014 11:09 / United States - Golden Valley

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

By Spooprfailed - / Tuesday 8 April 2014 05:32 / Canada - Winnipeg

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

By kubbyp - / Thursday 3 April 2014 21:22 / Canada - Ottawa

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 21 March 2014 05:14 / United States - Phoenix