Chuck94_fml

Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time." He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML