Miss Tampa In a relationship
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Today, my girlfriend was excited because her uncle was coming for a visit. She started telling me stories about him, and the more she talked, the worse it got. I’m fairly certain uncle is a cult leader, and that my girlfriend was born into and brainwashed by a cult that got shut down by the police. FML
Today, I nearly burnt a hole in my esophagus because I couldn’t stand my dad’s taunts about me not being able to stomach ghost pepper hot sauce. Irony is a cruel bitch. FML
Today, I realised that the only friend who talks to me consistently is a guy who used to stalk me. FML
Today, I checked my mom's email to track a package I'm waiting to receive. Instead, I found out my mom canceled the order, and that my parents are getting a divorce and have been fighting via email for weeks. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying, "Next time, I'll call." FML
Today, the prison program I work for has been shut down for months due to Covid, but my bosses have been having us sitting at our desks, doing nothing, in proximity to the inmates. I guess they'd rather pay us to be exposed than to stay safe. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, my best friend and my ex-boyfriend went on a business trip, got drunk, and ended up sleeping together. Now they want to start dating. FML
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