Miss Spring, United States 36 years-old Single
Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML
Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML
Today, my boss gave me a warning for "insulting our best customer" after she saw a comment on her customer card saying "stop giving this fat bitch free samples." My boss had written it in the first place, but refuses to either remember or admit it. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML
Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years-old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML
Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML
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