gloomygaskarth

Today, my boss gave me an "All You Need to Know About Grammar" type book. FML

Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

Classic move

Today, I went on a blind date. Right after I arrived there, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He never came back. FML

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids "just wouldn't look right." FML

Today, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about our communication problems. He fell asleep. FML

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML