Miss 29 years-old Single
Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML
Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML
Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML
Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
