joshybear

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Lake Tapps, United States of America
31 years-old
Saturday 01 October 1994
couple

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Joshybear's favorite FMLs

The bitch is back

By thatsucks - 28/02/2009 11:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later, I got a text saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

agreeclassic 1 291 224

vote type 1 143 532

Man child

By Anonymous - 26/10/2011 23:44 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

agreeclassic 46 700

vote type 1 5 936

No more treats

By Fatty1970 - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

agreeclassic 38 267

vote type 1 20 062

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

agreeclassic 68 547

vote type 1 10 692

By Anonymous - 15/05/2011 04:41 - United States

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

agreeclassic 84 756

vote type 1 26 770