dave650

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Dave650's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 22/12/2009 10:08 - United States

Today, I came home from my two week trip to Florida. At the airport, the door said "Enter Only", while a sign above it said "Do not enter." Long story short, I got arrested for "disobeying signs." Nothing says "Welcome home" like being arrested. FML

agreeclassic 30 848

vote type 1 4 840

By Claire - 29/09/2010 05:59 - Australia

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

agreeclassic 20 142

vote type 1 44 021

By Jake - 28/09/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

agreeclassic 44 967

vote type 1 3 470

By Anonymous - 12/09/2010 14:04 - Denmark

Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said, "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML

agreeclassic 39 847

vote type 1 5 064

By Anonymous - 09/09/2010 07:48 - Australia

Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML

agreeclassic 33 049

vote type 1 3 756