Miss 35 years-old It's complicated
Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML
Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML
Today, as I was yelled at by a middle school teacher in front of 30 6th graders for breaking the rule of "no cell phones in school." Luckily, I escaped being sent to the office after explaining I'm a 21 year old college student doing student teaching observations, not a middle schooler. FML
Today, I woke up to my yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, and my noisy, obnoxious aunt and her three year old twin daughters playing and screaming. They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays. It's only November 18th. FML
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML
Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML
Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML
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