katxoxolove

sucks This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff United States 🌶️ Spicy

It's not what you think…

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

426 comments

David H. 23 December 2010, 08:18 🌶️ Spicy

Check 'em

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

149 comments

Anonymous 29 December 2010, 11:25 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

218 comments

puggles 3 January 2011, 06:52 United States

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

205 comments

Anonymous 4 January 2011, 20:09 Reserved

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

128 comments