Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML
Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML
Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year-old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
Today, a fly got stuck up my nose while I was giving a speech. FML
Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML
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