Hartzfeld

About Hartzfeld Not specified

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Hartzfeld's FML badges

It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

100%
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

100%
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

0%
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.

0%
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

0%
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

0%
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

0%
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

0%

The list of badges to find

Hartzfeld's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By offbeans - / Tuesday 17 February 2009 02:29 / United States

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Username / Monday 13 September 2010 01:38 / France

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By spriggs - / Sunday 25 July 2010 09:06 / United States

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By James4929 - / Friday 8 January 2010 00:25 / United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Michelle - / Friday 28 August 2009 17:11 / United States

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Hartzfeld

It's in the can!

Consolation prize

The thumb strikes back

The return of the thumb

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

One more and it's business time