Miss Atlanta, U.S 31 years-old Single
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I surprised my four year-old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it "Horny". FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML
Today, I asked the girl I like to send me "yummy pictures." I got a picture of cheesecake. FML
Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML
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