JerryThePenguin

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Jerrythepenguin's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 02:36 - United States

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

agreeclassic 26 052

vote type 1 69 645

By HiImAlfredo - 14/09/2014 18:47 - United States - Hampton

Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML

agreeclassic 46 092

vote type 1 7 420

By berryjones11024 - 14/09/2014 14:35 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I found my son trying to comb his hair with scissors. He's the same kid who thought that if he ate toothpaste, he would never have to brush his teeth again. FML

agreeclassic 39 086

vote type 1 5 375

berryjones11024 app_comment_confession_title

berryjones11024 17

Monday 15 September 2014 4:23

Hello the OP here, in case you are wondering my son is 14, this what makes this bad. I had a talk with him about combing his hair with scissors, he said that since it had an edge he thought it would work just fine. He's not hurt in any way but if he was to hurt himself, I would have told him to figure it out. The eating toothpaste is a whole different story, I didn't know the purpose and he didn't know the purpose. I don't think he knew that toothpaste is poisonous if you ate it. Anybody want to adopt a kid?

Running

By Anonymous - 13/09/2014 00:19 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the Chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

agreeclassic 41 052

vote type 1 9 879

By Anonymous - 10/09/2014 03:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

agreeclassic 47 636

vote type 1 14 103