Today, I put on a shirt that said, "Skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "Since when?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted me to get a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML
Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
Today, I found out that every time my boyfriend has cutely joked about my clothes not matching while we're just lounging around the house, he's really been hoping I would catch on that he thinks I look like a slob. FML
Today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. It was really cute and I always borrow his shirts so I asked to borrow his new one. He replied with, "Okay but please don't stretch this one." FML
Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Wow...you're the very epitome of classy, aren't you?
DocBastard 40
It's called a double entendre, "bro". It's supposed to sound sexual without being overtly sexual. Get it? And don't call me "bro". I already have two of them, and that's quite enough.
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Comments (88)
mjh1223 3
You should probably read a sex positions book to get better
Enslaved 38
Or he should. Maybe she is skilled. . . Just not with her current boyfriend. :P It takes two!
DocBastard 40
Wow...you're the very epitome of classy, aren't you?
oj101 33
She's so classy, she makes Marie Antoinette and Kate Middleton turn green with envy. Haven't you heard? (sarcasm)
Enslaved 38
#3 I guess the: "I'm not a Doctor but I'll still take a look!" T-shirt won't apply to you! (:
wallandpiece 16
20 - Kate Middleton is considered classy now?
logansEpic 4
Its a nike shirt bro :p
DocBastard 40
It's called a double entendre, "bro". It's supposed to sound sexual without being overtly sexual. Get it? And don't call me "bro". I already have two of them, and that's quite enough.
iamabamf 17
45- Hahaha, well shit, he told you.
Palirose 22
I think those kinds of shirts are actually a bit funny. I've never really thought class had anything to do with them. Although I don't wear them myself, I've always found shirts like that to literally be more humorous than serious but that's just how I feel about it.
pedosmurf 7
Doc your a dick and tell your bf he isn't getting sex :p
Shadowvoid 33
That was a stupid remark smurf, there is nothing in any of these comments that has anything to do with homosexuality. Go to your room and think about what you have done (since you obviously are 12 years old and have to insult people with homosexuality) Oh and by the way, You're* Don't come back until you have matured
pedosmurf 7
What did I say about homosexuality? I just thought it was uncalled for when that guy called him "bro" and doc just snapped on the guy
pedosmurf 7
Oh I see the misconception I was talking to op to tell her to tell her bf no sex :/ my fault
chelseaaababyyy 17
41 - Kate Middleton is the wife of Prince William. I believe you're thinking of Kate Upton, the model.
wallandpiece 16
Nope, I know who Kate Middleton is. The one who married into the royal parasite family and then got pictures of her breasts all over the papers. Classy.
BlackRogue 8
64- I don't think it's very fair to assume she's not classy. She went away with her husband to a secluded resort, and the paparazzi actively searched them out. I think if she wanted her husband to rub lotion on her while topless that's just fine... They're just people after all, and it's not as though it's a crime to want to be intimate with your husband. I think the person who took the photos should be ashamed, intruding on their personal time like that.
chelseaaababyyy 17
64 - I apologize, I haven't heard of that scandal. My fault.
2pepper3 10
Practice makes perfect,
idkhaha 4
Nike!!! Gotta love their shirts....
Inheritance 10
Just do it
MegaTheater 5
That's what she said...
sens3sfailing 25
It is what she said...when she was asking her husband to take out the trash and he complained...seriously, that one was just to broad, you can't say it at everything, because then it just ruins the joke
Wishez 12
Your boyfriend is an asshole.
ALlamaOnFire 20
For being funny... ?
FuzzyJack 15
You were pretty much asking for it by wearing that shirt in the first place. Of course people will give you comments on it.
TheMathMajor 26
Um, anyone who gives a shit about "their woman" would let her wear whatever the heck she wants.
garrett8614 2
30- actually the shirt she was wearing is a shirt made by Nike, it's a basketball shirt referring to the positions in basketball
wallandpiece 16
30, explain to me how you aren't a sexist piece of shit.
september1395 7
What did 30 say?!?!?!?!
RoboCunnilingus 23
Aw, don't have a cow, girl. He was kidding. It isn't like he implied you're a missionary, in which case, tell him he can't get nun.
In_some_bullshit 13
Try to take it a compliment. Tell him, You're Not a **** so you need him to show you the "ropes"... ((And handcuffs...)) ;)
IndigoFuckYou 9
If you're wearing a shirt that says "Skilled in Every Position", you're probably a ****.
wallandpiece 16
When girls talk about (or even just make reference to) sex, they're *****? Is this world going backwards?
Enslaved 38
My favorite position is to be CEO! We are talking about work, right? :P
buckdharma 38
entry level
TweetAnne 13
YDI. Those shirts always get attention and unfortunate remarks.
spaboolly 26
Yes, which means the OP really doesn't have the right to complain that what she got wasn't the kind of attention she was misguidedly hoping for.