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Wasps can **** right off

Jeff - - United States

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

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Bragging

lastalittlelonger - 05/12/2009 09:07 - United States

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

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Anonymous - 26/07/2009 17:00 - France

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

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Noname - 21/02/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

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Sketchy

Wolf - - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML

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