Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
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Top comments
darkblue_13 0
I'm with the girl in this FML here, I hate it when i'm just making out with a guy, having fun, and he assumes that I want to have sex with him
Rayn4u_fml 0
Please define "hooking up".
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Comments (43)
ZING_MASTER 0
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haha ha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Hoff 0
hope you kicked her out of the apartment.
mikeyellenlee 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
HAHAHA! Typical. You really made an ass of yourself. Learn some respect. You deserved that. And @ #10- Let me guess, you're virgin living in your mother's basement.
Z33F 2
Youre a dick.
no_problems 0
haha #17, i was thinkin the same thing, except i was aiming for butch lesbian, who's favorite food is seafood, specifically clams.
xhoodiegirl 0
LOLOLOL
Rayn4u_fml 0
Please define "hooking up".
8ranko 0
man i feel so sorry for you ._. since 15 i know that ALWAYS WAIT FOR THEM TO MAKE THE DAMN QUESTION!!!...damn
alwaysalady 0
well that's what you get for being presumtuious.
joyride 0
Epicly funny. But, that's embarassing for you.
budsmoker 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
thats when you slap her and tell her to get the **** out of your appartment
uprising_fml 0
you are an asshole an a ******* Neanderthal. I hope you eat shit and die. that girl has a right to say no and OP is dumb if he EVER assumes a girl will sleep with him .
OPIAF 5
#38 should DIE because of a casual comment? OP should be an eternal virgin because? Oh yeah that's international punishment for wanting sex sorry I forgot.