Today, I found out my husband had bought my one year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, I found out my husband got my 22 year-old daughter pregnant. Not only that, he’s drained our savings on her including a new iPhone and Macbook, designer clothes and handbags, etc. His defense, in all seriousness, was, "She’s not even my biological daughter, chill out." FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, I found out that my husband has been seeing another woman and my 16 year-old daughter once caught them while I was at work. She didn’t tell me about it because she was enjoying all the hush gifts, shoes, purses, and the payments for her BMW X3. FML
Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML
Today, I was reduced to a blubbering mess at my baby shower. My mom bought tons of clothes, bibs, etc. Sounds nice right? Well, they all had sayings like "Daddy’s Little Princess" and "Daddy’s Girl." She knows full well my fiancé quit his job, changed his number, and disappeared without a trace 3 months ago. FML
Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
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Top comments
dramakat11 0
Omg that is hilarious. Really insensitive though. I mean, that's true of a lot of children but that's not a nice thing to broadcast, you know? But maybe he's a great dad and just has an outrageous sense of humor.
mohit88 0
He wins u married a funny guy LOL
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Comments (163)
cucumberfabulous 7
hahahahahahahah
neonokku 0
Not a FML its jsut hilarious
ManImCool 0
This is fantastic!! Best Dad Ever!!!
Ox_Baker 0
Definitely not an FML. In fact, the OP is a wet blanket, worrying him about him taking her out to the park for 15 minutes while wearing a funny shirt.
goodtimesx2 0
thats hilarious!
pippysthename00 0
Now in 15 years, she'll find that shirt and write an FML about it.
curryndricegirll 0
That's hilarious. I can see why you married him.
americayay 0
Agreed 42. Boo freaking hoo OP, your husband has a sense of humor.
yaintime21 0
OMG!!! what kind of person would design that shirt?
gus123975394 0
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAAAHAhAHAHAhaAHAHAAHAHAAHAAHAAAaAHAHAAhAAhAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAH that must be embaressing for the mom i feel sorry for her
kh2soldier 1
1
Gorsbug823 0
haha
breenarae25 0
ur profile info is from Billy Madison!!!! lolol
noradz 8
"Today, I found a baby shirt that my dad got me when I was a baby. It says 'Birth Control Fail.' FML."
eilizlol 0
He'll grow up to be an amazing father.. What a douche.
HahaYDI 0
How can you call him a douche??!!! He has a sense of humor, that is freaking hilarious, if my parents did that to me when I was younger I'd love that
realggirl 0
I'm going to have to agree with #2 on this one. That's pretty disgusting.
eliana_fml 0
Yeah, I agree. I don't find this funny, I find it quite terrible, actually.
LK4D4 0
it's a joke shirt stop being so dramatic, it's funny.
mrssuarez2011 12
Except it's really not funny.
ananamoose 0
Accidently a double post, so I'm going to take this time to say thanks to all of you who believed in me, it wasn't easy getting number 2 and number 3 but being the man, it had to be done. so to all of you non believers... BELIEVE!!!!
ananamoose 0
Come on buried already, i understand it was a douche comment but come on, there has only been 36 posts so far
perfectwinds 0
I LOLed at your comment. =P It was really funny. I gave you a thumbs up to try and unbury you! People, get a sense of humor! He happend to be 1 and 2 and didn't brag about it until the 2nd and it was because he was making a joke of it being the 2nd post. Sheesh.
ananamoose 0
haha thanks for the understanding, some people just don't get it, *thumps up*
mike1921 0
I don't care if it's funny it's totally irrelevent to the OP and thus I will thumbs-down it in an attempt to bury it
Chaith 16
I love this.
bigotcretin 0
..and why is this buried?
nikktherocker 0
because this is america, land of the free, and home of the people too cowardly to let people express their affection for this fml.
badumdum 0
that's amazing, not at all an FML
mohit88 0
He wins u married a funny guy LOL
monnanon 14
Oh thats cruel yet kind of funny. At least your daughter is not old enough to understand. I'd hide or get rid of that t-shirt quickly so she doesn't have to wear it again.
dramakat11 0
Omg that is hilarious. Really insensitive though. I mean, that's true of a lot of children but that's not a nice thing to broadcast, you know? But maybe he's a great dad and just has an outrageous sense of humor.
tiptoppc 21
I know I was one. At 40, I’m still reminded of it by my (by now estranged) family.
darklove6792 0
wow your husband is obviously a huge giant dick
sagwaagua 0
yep
d75s74j73s67 0
thats quite hilarious