Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML
Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML
Today, within a year of inheriting the family business from me so I could retire, my daughter claimed she had found a way to increase profits that was "way too complicated" for me to understand. Well today, police showed up. Whatever her method was, apparently it counts as fraud. FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML
Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML
Today, my slacker co-worker accused me of stealing because I got more hours than him. I was called into the manager's office and interrogated. They believed him, and sent me home for the day. I guess it pays off being the boss's kid. FML
Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML
Today, I have to admit I sometimes snoop in my daughter's room, but she must have realised this because she has started laying booby traps for me. I'm currently in the ER getting fishing hooks removed from my hand after she taped them to a mousetrap and left the mousetrap inside her desk drawer. I deserve it but, FML
Today, since it's company policy, I had to go to the back of my small store to retrieve an item for a customer, even though I was working by myself. I came back to find that since she couldn't get into the cash register, she found and stole my purse instead. FML
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Top comments
warriorsoul 2
IDK how to break it to you easy... I think your daughter is becoming a ****.
spyrogyro 2
easy remedy fire the douche!!
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Comments (204)
Reinforcements 0
first!
Dogman332 0
Tell him to go **** himself!
majones 0
I think we're missin a part of the story. The other employee is the Op's son because it's a family-owned store. You're paying your children to perform incest.
Reyo 2
That's what I was wondering 47...it's not very "family owned" if you allow people outside of the family to work there, which means one of two things...it's not family owned, or lots and lots of wincest.
lexie206 0
uhh, his family OWNS the store.. that doesn't mean other people don't WORK there..
majones 0
@51 I know that, but this FML makes you think doesn't it.
majones 0
And considering that the Op is from Iowa, I think the chances are very high that the "other employee" is actually a part of the family.
MetroidSlayer01 8
@18, he doesn't have to **** himself, remember. he has his bosses daughter. Pay attention.
TheRipper_fml 0
You guys are all idiots. Straight up. Either that, or you're playing along with a very bad joke. Family-owned doesn't mean you can't hire outside people, it means it is "Mom
TheRipper_fml 0
nice to see my comment only showed up halfway. oh well.
MetroidSlayer01 8
@72, Look, it's Mr. Headupmyass here to make himself feel better by correcting people on FML in the most "I'm god" like way and his side kick **** YOU!!!
isreal 0
beat his ass then
majones 0
Maybe she failed to mention that it's also family-operated. Sorry for trying to make an incest joke. Pull the tree trunk out of your asses along with the dicks that are also in your asses.
isaiah614 0
time to whoop some ass
tnae2 0
it would be more likely if he was from west Virginia
truthisRelative 0
If it is family operated the OP better be looking for a psychiatrist and stop wasting time here. :p
sam411411 0
he's a pimp
Reyo 2
Jesus **** that's the last time I try to play along with a joke...
bcns 0
wow 76 your a ****** asshole u fag
Epicfailz01 0
#47. his family owns the store, dosent matter who works there he's just saying that he owns it
Ohkay 0
F Y L ? lol
AnonymousGalifrey 1
no the company is family owned not family run or op means a small business
AnonymousGalifrey 1
hey dont say fag thats insensitive to butt pirates!
ey3seecold 0
you can fire her from the job but u can never fire her from a ******* so either way keep them as employees better 4 u just saying.
BangOut 2
Did you kill them both? He he, I bet you did, here, take a cookie * Hands OP a cookie*
aznbitch 0
imm sorry but i hate snickerdoodles.
majones 0
seriously, I just wanna get a giant sized fly swatter and swat her. She's an annoying little bug who never shuts up.
sourgirl101 29
Ya but if she gets knocked up by him it'll really be a family owned store. Nice to know there are still jobs with benefits.
cazens 0
hehehe #47!!
comatoast 0
Best. Job. Ever.
urlifesfked 0
**** you I'm from Iowa and you are thinking of Arkansas
KoalaMeatPie 0
I don't get it, is the problem that she is screwing around at work or that she is screwing around? If it's the latter, what's the problem? They're teens, they screw. It happens. Just make sure she's safe and become aware that you're daughter is growing up.
FMLowLife 0
Steps to stop that: 1. Set up security cameras all around your store. 2. If you are paying him, pay him for actually WORKING. (Use the cameras to find out) 3. Lower his pay check by 10% every time he decides to **** your daughter. 4. Pay a guy to try and rob the store of a minor object ($100) while the person leaves his post and slacks off. Then take the cost of the stolen items cost out of his paycheck. 5. Tell him you will beat the shit out of him if he ever repeats his actions one more time. 6. Fire him.
jamiebuczko 0
lol 65
captainobvious12 0
you're a moron
brasilbabe 0
lol 47 made my day.
ilikepie789 0
lol
WHODATNATION 0
that's nice
rosto16 0
YDI for not going to her softball game that one time
Hanban 0
Wasn't she cheering for the softball team?
spyrogyro 2
easy remedy fire the douche!!
sabrinatyler 0
hahaha WTF ?
max_wilder 9
what a boss he got paid to **** your daughter thumbs up to him!
pink_shades 0
nastyy
srammer99 0
wats nasty about it
bettadenne1 0
so basically u gave ur daughter an escourt? good parenting
reyemrein 0
prop up a cardboard box with a stick and put some lube under it. problem solved. you're welcome.
pink_shades 0
****
warriorsoul 2
IDK how to break it to you easy... I think your daughter is becoming a ****.
jillz 0
She sure is becoming a ****. Install a camera and you'll have leverage on her for quite some time. She'll lead her life exactly as you tell her to if she doesn't want all her peers, school mates etc to know exactly how well she performs at work.
honestlove11 0
haha :) yep. a definite skankbag.
genius_4 0
lol good idea
anaelantigua 0
that would sooo suck! But if she really was a ****, then wouldn't she want it up there? So other guys would be like, ohhhhhh yahhhhhh? Lets go? Just wonderingggg! (:
Thisbe_fml 0
This is so illegal in so many ways, most notably because it would be CHILD PORNOGRAPHY if she's underage. But yeah, it's a great idea if you've always wanted a place on the sex offender registry!
WHODATNATION 0
Tell them to get protection.
SpaceCoyote 0
best advice.
NGM_47 0
I wonder how you discovered this? Did it end in a 3-sum? lol just kiddin!