Today, I got those stickers that say "Voice Activated; Say Loudly: PAPER TOWEL NOW!" I then placed one in a public bathroom and waited in the stall to hear someone yell the phrase. I waited for thirty minutes and heard the machine go off several times, with no shouting at all. In other words, no one fell for it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML
Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "What were you reaching for?" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom trying to take a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
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Top comments
Shzusuziq11 12
How old are you?
RichardPencil 32
Try telling your wife that your cousin sold something to Microsoft and is now a millionaire. That works.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Try telling your wife that your cousin sold something to Microsoft and is now a millionaire. That works.
Shzusuziq11 12
How old are you?
Anderling 33
Bold of you to assume customers read anything.
tiptoppc 21
True. Most are too stupid to read. The ones even dumber get darwin awards since they apparently can’t read warning labels on dangerous items. Also, apparently, OP can’t think. This has been a long overused prank in IT. “Voice activated. Verbally speak to printer what you want it to do, and it’ll do it” Although, with modern automation smart devices, jokes on us. It became a real product (siri, alexa, etc…)
Evolving_Squid 15
Did you fall through a time warp from 2001 ?