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The all-time greatest FMLs

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By Jane - 09/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Encino

Today, I was super bored in health class so I decided to watch Invader Zim on my computer. I never made sure my headphones were connected. so the whole class turned and stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 704

I'm horny, horny horny horny

By It was a mistake!! - 12/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 017

Common area

By Anonymous - 07/03/2026 09:00

Today, I explained to my new neighbors that my kids will continue to use the pool in the backyard as they have for years. The neighbor immediately said my kids are not welcome in her yard and she is building a fence. I don’t know how to explain to my sweet babies they no longer have their pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 784

Wait, what?

By Bradley Earl - 01/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Lansing

Today, my girlfriend was a mystic and I'd told her not to use FML because it seemed negative. I think it feels controlling and I don't want that. I also deleted a file that was about fear of her husband dying because she lost her dad. I wish I could go back and be on FML too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 476

I'm a bad person

By Oops - 01/11/2025 00:00

Today, at a fancy date, my boyfriend said he forgot his wallet. I was instantly furious, threw a drink in his face, and yelled that he was a no-good, tiny-dicked broke loser. Dripping wine, he then said, "…but I can still pay with my phone. You didn't let me finish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 475

Synchronize your watches

By Anonymous - 24/12/2025 20:00

Today, I texted my partner that I was “on my way.” I then sat on the couch doomscrolling for another 25 minutes. When I finally left, I ran into him in the parking lot, holding groceries, staring at me like I’d just lied for the fun of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 839

Busted grid

By Tenant - 18/08/2026 22:00 - Canada - Quebec

Today, my cat knocked my phone into the bathtub. I grabbed it, dried it, and put it on the charger without thinking. Five minutes later, the bathroom lights went out and my landlord texted me asking why the fuses had tripped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 206

One hell of a hangover

By Ouchiewowow - 11/07/2026 15:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 027

Bad friend

By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 15:00

Today, my friend threw a milkshake at a guy spinning a sign on the side of the road. The guy stormed over and dragged my friend out the car window. When I jumped out to help, I'd forgotten to put my car in park, and it rolled across the street and hit a ditch. Then the sign spinner kicked both our asses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 087

Tricky

By Anonymous - 29/06/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I started building a basic bookshelf from a flat-pack kit without looking at the instructions, because "How hard could it be?" I finished just as the last screw went in, then noticed the back panel was facing outwards and every shelf was upside down. Taking it apart took longer than putting it together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 563

Karma

By Sorry mum - 30/08/2024 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of a conversation with my best friend, where we were making fun of my mum’s new haircut, to my mum. She responded with, “Well, at least my haircut can change. What are you going to do about your face?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 866

Sia is drunk again

By Not Sia - 21/12/2025 09:00

Today, during a wild party, I climbed up to the second floor, over a railing, and leapt for the chandelier, screaming, "I'M GONNA SWING FROM THE CHANDELIER!" I swung for a second, everyone was cheering, and then the chandelier gave way. Now I'm in hospital with millions of stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 1 014

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 29/11/2025 00:00

Today, after a few years of not feeling ready since my daughter born, I went to my ex's apartment to tell her I am ready to be a dad. Turns out she moved out, two years ago, and left me forwarding address for me. I tried calling her phone. The number was disconnected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 1 345

Threadbare

By I was just joking - 26/01/2026 09:00

Today, I found out the hard way that other people can see your replies on Threads. I’m now sleeping on the couch and my girlfriend gave me 10 days to find another place to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 975

Bad planning

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 12:00 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, I realized that procrastinating studying for my finals until the last day would end up in me failing, irrespective of how much caffeine I consume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 720

Military time is best

By Late lateeee - 09/06/2026 09:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my phone alarm didn't go off this morning. Furious, I spent ten minutes complaining about technology before realizing I'd carefully set the alarm for 7:00 PM instead of 7:00 AM. The technology was actually innocent for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 398

Hey you!

By I was very drunk - 14/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, after a boozy lunch, I drunkenly waved at what I thought was my reflection in a shop window. The person inside waved back. I laughed and kept walking. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd spent the entire interaction waving at someone standing in a café. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 333

Payback

By Stupid stupid stupid - 30/01/2026 22:00

Today, I bumped into a guy I bullied for years at a bar. He was actually cool and laughed about it, but my stupid drunk ass kept urging him to hit me because I felt bad about it. We went outside and he thrashed me. At least we're friends now, I guess… FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 666

Ironic

By Pookie - 09/02/2026 22:00

Today, I saw someone at the buffet get two plates in a row. I told my date that, “People nowadays have no self control.” Unbeknownst to me, he was within earshot and told me, “FYI, I was getting a plate for my disabled mother.” After dinner, my date unmatched me and blocked my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 1 170

Dire straits

By Sandy - 09/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I called my ex to ask if he could help with bills and buying some nice things for my son. He said, "Look, I'm not going to keep doing husband and father shit for a woman who won't marry me and a kid who isn't mine. Go call his dad." His dad is a deadbeat. He knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 1 464

You made your bed…

By Anonymous - 27/10/2025 09:00

Today, I asked my employee, who I desperately need, who I forced into a position she explicitly stated she didn't want, if she could stop cursing out the field employees. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 939

Assumptions

By Girlboss - 06/02/2026 20:00

Today, I was conducting a meeting via Zoom when I saw one of my subordinates drinking from a brightly colored can that looked like beer. I loudly called him out, interrupting one of my colleagues. He held it up and clearly visible was "SELTZER" on the can. Not even hard seltzer, just regular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 802

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 03:00

Today, I set an out-of-office auto-reply for my work email saying, “Currently out of the office, pretending to care somewhere else.” I forgot to turn it off. My boss emailed me three times before I noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 545

Stolen valor

By ohhhhsi - 14/10/2025 12:00

Today, having had previous bad luck with getting ghosted on my Hinge dates, I told a guy I served in the Marines to impress him and hopefully score a second date. I'd told him I did my basic training at Fort Leonard Wood. He frowned and said, "That's a US Army training base." He got up and left me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 1 141

Fury

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 04:00

Today, my parents are furious and are refusing to let me see my kids. Why? They're raising my kids after I lost them to foster care and I stopped fighting for custody, and just announced my pregnancy with my new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 2 039

Classic

By Diane - 12/09/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 491

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - 02/12/2025 09:00

Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 519

Kinda brought it onto yourself

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, despite my warnings, my only son married a girl I hate. To protest their marriage, I wore a white dress to the wedding. Her maid of honor "tripped" and spilled red wine all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 2 360

Mixed messages

By Barry - 19/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I learned that my wife lets our son play video games while I'm at work to "keep him out of her hair." We had agreed that he was forbidden from gaming until his grades came up, but apparently she can't be bothered to actually parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 10

Overreacting

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 00:00

Today, I thought my man was cheating on me. I took a screenshot his bank transactions because I found a woman’s name. I went down a rabbit hole and it turned out it’s the name of an actual store / company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 675

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The Top

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 676

You deserved it 3 461

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 012

You deserved it 1 977

Today, I'm dead on my feet. My flatmate's alarm went off for 20 minutes at 5 a.m., which I heard and he didn't. A car alarm went off outside my window for half an hour at 7 a.m. My building fire alarm went off twice, at 8 and 8:10 a.m. Just let me sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 314

You deserved it 170

Today, I have been having to work in a residence of people with disabilities when I normally do community work with disabled people and usually enjoy it. I have seen not one, but two elderly mens' genitals today when my actual job would never require me to see any. I didn’t sign up for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 315

Today, I set my alarm to wake up early for work. It turns out I set it for PM instead of AM. I woke up to my boss calling me, asking if I was still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 271

Today, my husband once again thought it would be funny to rage-bait our child during dinner. There was screaming, food being thrown around, and a whole lot of running around instead of eating. I already had a headache and was already overstimulated, so I had to fend off a meltdown. All this over chicken burgers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 107