Today, I asked my 10 year-old guitar student why Good Friday is a holiday. He answered, "We remember Jesus Christ's crucifixion. Isn't it sad to kind of celebrate someone's death? Well, I don't care, I just enjoy the free holiday and I don't believe in magic anyway!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, I've never celebrated Halloween or Christmas because my super-duper religious parents forbade me from doing so. Now I'm an adult and really want to make up for the childhood memories I was brutally robbed of, but I know people will laugh at me and say I'm too old if I try. FML
Today, my son told me not to be silly, because things like the Tooth Fairy and Santa don’t exist. He’s three years old. I guess we’ll just skip all the magical moments of his childhood I was looking forward to, and start the process of turning him into a soulless adult who doesn’t know how to have fun. FML
Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
Today, during my grandmother's funeral, my talented ten-year-old son found the church organ and began playing Smells Like Teen Spirit. FML
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML
Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML
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Top comments
roryab 8
smart kid
angus 17
Smart kid, you could learn a lot
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Comments (5)
roryab 8
smart kid
angus 17
Smart kid, you could learn a lot
DLBL 23
Was the song a good choice for the occasion? We had some douche try to play ******* mandolin at our biker parter at 2 a.m. like it was Sunday Brunch at Grammas. eye roll.
Wadlaen 24
Unfortunately, this is a more and more normal approach to this kind of events...
tiptoppc 21
Yeah, just don’t read into the J.W’s. They turned that day into a whole religion and just stopped there…