The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Enjoy what you enjoy

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 609

Showtime

By dumbass - 03/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I spent 5 minutes trying to get into my car because the key fob wouldn't work. It wasn't my car. Same model, same colour, same parking spot, just wrong floor. The actual owner was watching me struggle from the Aldi trolley station the whole time, clearly amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 271

Never joke around with the Hacky Sacks

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 20:00 - United States - Edison

Today, my husband is refusing any kind of sex with me. Last week, as a prank, I slapped his ballsack during foreplay, not hard at all. Now he says he "can't trust me" near his junk, the big baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 808

Road rage

By Anonymous - 07/04/2024 06:00 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 593

Traditional Christmas trimmings

By Anonymous - 26/12/2024 09:00 - Malaysia - Malacca

Today, the most Xmas drink I had was a mug of mocha. The most un-Xmas food I had was vegetarian fried rice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 346

No squeaking

By Anonymous - 30/01/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I attempted to fix the annoying squeak my office chair has been making with WD-40. I turned it upside down, but misjudged the intensity of the spray, spraying it on my laptop keyboard. Now my “S” key is smoother than ever, but I can’t type the word “stress” without it sounding like a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 374

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dog when we passed by a group of teenagers. My social anxiety urged me to appear like a cool, confident adult, so I threw a stick for my dog to fetch, expecting him to dash off as usual. Instead, he sat down and stared at me like I was crazy. One of the kids said, “He’s got more sense than you.” My dog barked in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 452

Naira bucks

By Anonymous - 02/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I confidently walked into a meeting thinking I looked sharp in my new shirt. Halfway through, someone pointed out that the tag was still hanging out the back, flapping like a flag. It wasn’t even a size tag, it literally said "₦5,500" in bold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 325

Psyched

By Anonymous - 24/09/2025 15:00

Today, I was psyching myself up in the office bathroom mirror before a big presentation. I was doing power poses and whispering, “You’re smart, you’re powerful, you’re unstoppable.” When I turned around, three coworkers were waiting silently for the stalls, watching my whole performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 392

Safe travels

By Sleepy head - 07/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I'd booked a window seat for my first flight because I wanted to enjoy the view. A few minutes after takeoff, I fell asleep. I woke up just as we were about to land, with a dead phone, a stiff neck, and absolutely no idea what the clouds looked like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 274

Dirty Dancing Fail

By FML Videos - 02/11/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Bro do you even lift?

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 200

UFO

By Anonymous - 29/07/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I found a mysterious container in the back of my fridge. I opened it to try and figure out what it was. I still don't know what it was, but now my entire flat smells like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 277

OK, that's that cleared up

By Zacharian - 02/08/2026 00:00 - United States - Pittsburg

Today, I found out my hot Mormon neighbors can be gay, but they can’t act on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 271

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 29/12/2025 03:00

Today, I confidently answered a question in a meeting, only to realize everyone was staring at me because I’d misunderstood it completely. My boss gently rephrased it while I nodded like that was my point all along. It absolutely wasn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 327

Great party

By Anonymous - 24/07/2024 20:00

Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 815

Time to bail

By Anonymous - 06/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I realized I hate my wife with a fiery passion. I honestly don’t even care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 353

Loose fit

By Anonymous - 06/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Sanford

Today, I got new thongs that were too big, but wore them anyway. It was fine until they got caught on a door handle when I held the door open with my back. The whole conference room saw the door basically give me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 348

Gated and confused

By Anonymous - 04/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I checked in for my flight, made it through TSA, bought food, and sat at the gate for an hour. I only realized I was sitting at the wrong gate when boarding for another flight finished and everyone had left. I ran to the correct gate, but it was too late. Despite me pleading, the plane was already taxiing to the runway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 549

Don't look

By Anonymous - 10/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized I had accidentally swapped phones with my coworker. She now has access to my search history, which includes: "Can cats sense shame?", "Is it OK to eat expired hummus?" and “Why do I hate my coworkers so much?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 434

Fantasy

By Just Monika - 24/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I got so tired of my friends constantly pestering me about having a girlfriend that I downloaded Monika After Story. Now when they ask, I just say she's long-distance and values her privacy, so I can't show her to them. This is what my life has come to. Forever alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 518

Always assume you're being watched

By Wilmot - 04/10/2025 00:00

Today, I was alone in the work elevator, so I practiced my “serious professional face” in the mirror. I made finger guns at myself right as the doors opened to reveal three executives from my company. They got in. Nobody said a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 386

Cool

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 03:00

Today, at the gym, I was trying to look cool doing pull-ups in front of someone I liked. On my first pull-up, my hand slipped, and I fell backwards onto a yoga ball, which shot me straight into another guy doing push-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 370

Easy mark

By shawn - 30/04/2024 09:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I learned that the cancer patient in a foreign country I sent money too from an ad on TikTok was a deepfake AI used by scammers. I thought I'd actually helped someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 034

Smoke em if you've got em

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I miss drugs and now I'm depressed, and now the world is fucked so there is no other option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 335

I need it, I want it

By Asshole - 24/03/2026 20:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 663

Survivalist

By Anonymous - 13/12/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, during a storm-related power failure, I jerry-rigged an inverter from my car to supply the essentials. In doing so, I managed to blow up the fridge, smoke and all. The power came back on 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 953

Sabotage

By FuckUp - 24/08/2025 00:00 - Germany

Today, I can't afford to lose my job but I've been consciously sabotaging my job for months now. My manager pulled me aside to let me know that I am untrustworthy and need to improve. I'm smart and have no idea why I'm doing this to myself. I had a great work ethic in my previous job, even winning awards for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 508

Just try stuff

By Tali - 04/07/2026 15:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, a woman friend of mine bravely asked me for a date. Even though I'm a woman myself, I was not fully surprised by her request, she'd said she was gay during our first chat months ago, but I being straight I was surprised that I said yes, and how fun the date would be. Is it OK that I'm tempted to become her girlfriend? FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 278

All mixed up

By Jill - 02/08/2023 18:00

Today, after finding out that I'd slept with our married neighbor, I found out my husband had slept with him too as revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 1 124

Reported and blocked

By Stop playing the victim - 17/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 1 217

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The Top

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 877

You deserved it 3 156

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 397

You deserved it 4 742

Today, at my job as a 2nd grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 228

You deserved it 859

Today, on my birthday, my mother described my birth like a large, painful bowel movement in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 199

Today, after crying after remembering how horribly wrong it went, 10 years ago, with the only person I was ever able to trust enough to let them get close to me, and how no amount of therapy seems to help me, I read an FML about how nobody wants to date a 30 year-old who has never dated. I'm 29 and might as well give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 259

Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 223