Today, I found out that the stiffness I've been feeling in my hand is arthritis and that it's only going to get worse. Not only do I type for my job, I'm also 22. FML
Today, my date dumped me after he took me to see a French language film and I was completely unable to follow the plot, or discuss the underlying philosophical and sociological themes and nuances afterwards. Apparently I’m not smart enough for him, which is just insulting. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 2 years of being together. The reason? I don't enjoy playing video games as much as he does. FML
Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML
Today, after thinking my crush maybe liked me back, I confessed. He didn't. FML
Today, my dad decided to test if Nerf guns actually hurt by sneaking up on me and shooting me with one. He missed; however, when he shot at me again, he hit my cat on my lap, causing my poor cat to run away. After desperately trying to apologize to my cat, he then shot at me a THIRD time, nailing me in the balls. FML
Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML
Today, my sister wrecked my car, then blamed it on, "Mercury being in retrograde." FML
Today, we're finally at an age where my wife will try to negotiate how old she has to admit to being. It’s ridiculous. At her last doctor's appointment, she was asked her age, she’s 52 but claimed to be only 40, and I had to argue her up to admitting to 48. FML
Today, my first day at the job, I went up to my coworker and began to ask her name. She cut me off and snapped, “I have a name.” FML
Today, my girlfriend is still mad at me because I got a MINISO cup and she doesn't have one. I was actually given that mug yesterday as a prize for working the extra hours I was forced to do last week without getting paid. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I'm 22 year-old woman, and my entire family thinks something is wrong with me because I've never been in a relationship. I'm starting to believe them. FML
Today, my stepmother ruined my wedding by trying to get me to cover my tattoos with makeup. She spilled makeup on my dress, delayed the limo, talked through the ceremony about my tattoos looking horrible, and tried to cancel our photographer so there’d by no official photos of my horrible tattoos. FML
Today, one of my closest friends is an antivaxxer. Neither I nor my family are guaranteed to survive Covid, even though we are vaccinated, and I just can't understand why she will not get the jab when she knows so many people have died from Covid, while only a handful have died from the vax DUE TO COMPLICATIONS, and now she may hate me. FML
Today, I'm working in China and I had to explain to my boss that no, it's not okay to not pay me for 3 months. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML
Today, my mental state went down another 2 levels when after 2 years of unemployment, I finally got offered a great job abroad. However, I probably won't even be able to go because I've reached the point where I'm too broke to even apply to get my passport made. FML
Today, I went camping with my boyfriend. We were sleeping on a small slope. He got so drunk he peed in his sleep. I was downhill. FML
Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me via a meme. What the fuck? With a friend of mine as well. FML
Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend of several months to post a picture of us. He deleted his Facebook instead. FML
Today, I’m proud and happy for having used my bike instead of my car for almost two months. Well, I was. Until I discovered that my car, though clean, dry and with a moisture absorber inside, has started to grow mold. Everywhere. FML
Today, I realised that the first guy I've dated in five years has ghosted me. It took a lot for me to agree to go on a couple of dates with him, and I thought they went really well. Apparently not, seeing as it's been over two weeks since he last texted. Self confidence = shattered. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s on her way to my friend's place to have her guts rearranged. FML
Today, I’m so lonely and sick of living that I wish my fictional comfort character was real, only so someone would hug me and tell me I’ll be okay, even if they were lying. FML
Today, I was out with friends, A girl approached me out of nowhere and gave me a peck on the cheek, then yelled to my friend, "I kissed him, where's that drink you promised?" only for him to equally loudly reply, "I said I'd buy you a drink to TALK to him." Apparently, even bribery isn't enough for a woman to talk to me. FML
Today, I thought working through the holidays would mean little to do and the boss telling me stories all day. Actually, it meant having loads to do, while my boss was telling me stories regardless, effectively keeping me from doing the work he is paying me for. FML
Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML
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