Today, my girlfriend is still mad at me because I got a MINISO cup and she doesn't have one. I was actually given that mug yesterday as a prize for working the extra hours I was forced to do last week without getting paid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend works for a company that cleans VRBOs, so while she went to see family for a week, I asked her coworkers to come clean while she was gone, even the owner of the company showed up, They deep-cleaned house, but when she got home I got yelled at for a dirty coffee mug on my desk. The coffee was still warm. FML
Today, I was in Starbucks with my daughter when she noticed a travel cup she liked. She picked one up and asked for it, but I said no because it was expensive. She angrily slammed it back into its stand and in the process, knocked over a display of ceramic mugs. I had to pay for each broken mug. FML
Today, I walked out the bathroom and saw my girlfriend peeing in a mug. She said that's the mug she uses when she can't hold it anymore. That's the mug I put my coffee in every morning. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
Today, my boyfriend “accidentally” spilled a cup of hot tea on my lap at the dinner table. I had to get treated for second degree burns, because the skin on my lap was heavily saturated with the stuff. Apparently, he’s still mad at me for buying a male coworker a present for his birthday. FML
Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML
Today, I yelled at my girlfriend because I thought she'd thrown away an important form I needed to fill out. I found it a few minutes later, just stuck to the back of another piece of paper. After apologizing for getting mad, all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, at 5:30 a.m., my wife woke me to order milk for our business because she forgot to do so last night. She then chewed me out for doing it there and then, waking her up. I'm apparently useless, always complaining and in a bad mood about the most mundane things. What? FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Let's hope she doesn't set it on fire.
ahabsfan 17
Place the mug on her back when you are doing it doggy-style to catch any drool. Trust me, you’ll avoid an embarrassing situation.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Let's hope she doesn't set it on fire.
ahabsfan 17
Place the mug on her back when you are doing it doggy-style to catch any drool. Trust me, you’ll avoid an embarrassing situation.
Yudith 28
You know what to give her for her birthday.
Evan Verret 4
that's wage theft and you have every right to report it my dude, never work unless you're being paid